Pri 'n' Post

Bittersweet Love

2012-01-05T18:17:00.002+05:30

Through rose tinted glasses the view

To your heart and deeper

Little did I know it bore no skin nor soul

Just make my heart grow feebler

Blinded by the image in my eyes

A view so pretty though made up

Romance circling and tweeting all day

Clouds of ignorance; the perfect cover up

Birds, bows and arrows

All in the upper strata

One hit to the ground by your sound

And that’s all a bbye and tata

All the promises rethought

Then all the words readdressed in time

Questioning one’s intellect

Suggesting things said were a crime.

Then the image reappears

With all its beauty and poise

A soul corrupted with time

A song scrambled in the noise.

Looking through the glass again

A man stripped of the color and shine

A loveless soul and heartless body

All things that will never be mine!

Reflection

2011-12-21T15:15:00.002+05:30

A matter of days and a goodbye again

Months fly by reminiscing happiness andpain

Another year and another story begins

Another page in my life diary within

Hopes to make all the colors live

Promises to myself and some to give

Happy beginnings and happy endings too

Wishes for a worthy partner to woo

Build, make and maintain a better out-look

Take risks and live outside the book

Fly, swim and breathe in nature’s gift

Soar, dive and be alive in thoughts thatuplift

With each waking moment strive to be thebest

Work and deliver to ace every single test

Learn and be open to all there is

Hope and believe that there’s a world ofbliss

Trust in yourself cause you're better thanyou know

Believe in what you are and all you can do

At the end of the day don’t fret

A new day is right around the cornerwaiting to be met!

So here’s the brand new sun up there in thesky

Shining it’s glory for your glittering eyes

Hopes and dreams and showers of love

Wishes you see that someone loves you highabove!

How I like it!

2011-12-08T13:00:00.001+05:30

Anaughty glance

Lingeringsmiles

Hardwood floors

Cleanmarble tiles

Achase or two

Ona sunny afternoon

Throughthe corridors

Inour own cocoon

Stopa while

Abreath to take

Lifein totality

Aslice partake

Thereagain now

Oureyes shall meet

Onour way we go

Throughemotions a heap

Gushingblood

Throughour veins shall flow

Pumpingup

Andpumping low

Onceagain

We’rein the mood

Isay now

Andyou say Cool?

The Road

2011-12-01T14:51:00.001+05:30

I walk this road down to a bend

A twist or turn but the road never ends.

A fork in the distance with a choice to make

A one way path for me to take.

Again I see this familiar place

History repeating itself for learning’s sake

A different path or maybe a by-lane for sure

To help get past the same closed door.

A companion or passerby walks on for a while

The crowded streets lure them another mile

Again you’re alone, your thoughts and your feet

A song in the head, a rhythm in heart beat

Walk, walk, walk till the road takes you on

Another sign goes by, another mile that’s done

You stop and stare and hope someone’s out there

An inkling in your heart or just a moment to spare.

Finally that bend when the end is near

A milestone reached and a lonely tear

All along the alone and the journey of strife

The road’s been there and it’s shared your Life!!!

Love Fades?

2011-10-26T12:58:00.002+05:30

Sometimes you sit and wonder
Is believing in love – a blunder?
What if all you were told before
Was nothing but crazy folklore!

What did prince charming say?
When his princess wasn’t as charming or gay
Did he frequent the neighborhood pub
Or stay home for a lonely dip in the tub

Did Sleeping Beauty ever wonder?
What treasures would she find in her slumber?
No assurance was she given on that kiss
Would she ever have a life of bliss?

It’s no wonder that Love is blind
With eyes too one can’t ever find
A misfit so brilliantly made
To make you believe your illusions can fade

Fleeting Flirting

2011-10-21T20:14:00.002+05:30

Wishful thinking
Shameless winking
Love Inkling
Feelings Sinking

Glancing gazes
Hopeless dazes
Lofted Praises
Workless phases

Affairs faceless
Reasons baseless
Conversations senseless
Direction aimless

Blood rushing
Soul Crushing
Emotion gushing
Cheeks blushing

Hope whispering
Faith reinstating
Fear eliminating
Keep Flirting!

Land of the Rising Sun Again

2011-10-21T11:43:00.000+05:30

So here I am again in the land of Sakura, Saki and Shinkansens leading a quiet 2 week period. Home -> Work -> Home seem to be the only thing I really do. Solitude in a country with about 2% of the world's population! The weather is beautiful and well so is everything else. Peaceful, only months after the horrific disaster. The thing is I was here then and am here now and nothing has really changed. Still u find people getting all suited up to work. Everyone always in some sorta hurry to catch a train, bus or something which leaves me quite perplexed coz none of the transport systems really ever run late here. All the hurry for what??? Whats the running for? Oh and damn these pretty women all ready for work in their high heels...yeah right high heels....how on earth do they manage the almost 1-2hr work rides/walks etc in those?
Anyways its always a pleasant site every morning on the way to the station to see all these people so well dressed and on their way to work. Ofcourse none really catch u eye to eye coz its like they're keyed in and on a particular path with a timer set. Its almost scary when u see someone you know ( and trust me they all don't look alike) in office actually having a fun time. Which brings me to office - It is well part of a manufacturing plant unit... a bldg where the suits sit and resembles a shop floor in quite many ways, but then again I imagine everything here looks like that. So i somehow manage to quite easily land up at work at 8:30 which at times seems almost impossible to do back in India. The thing is here the support systems of the city seem to keep u on time no matter what...and trust me i do mean no matter what. Roadwork, Electrical work u name it and they have solutions to keep u set on your own schedule without hampering their work. Brilliant!! Yeah totally is. So gettin back to me draggin my butt to work.. I get in early and land up drinking a lot of water which is a good thing coz coffee is not my thing here (the coffee literally keeps me awake even through situations I'd rather be asleep in) and have green tea, milk ( a step up from coffee) and some other juices that are available here. Seeing that i belong to an Indian based organisation where tea / coffee come free and per diem is stingy or as management would say "sufficient for the average joe" one needs to keep a check on their Fluid / Solid intake as Japan although brilliantly stocked is far from being reasonably priced. So with all the walk and the regularized fluid intake i guess a few pounds lost is whats on the charts for me. Yipity yay yay to that.
The work day begins with our noses buried in our notebooks (digital ofcourse) with an occasional voice murmur or laugh (very rare) from some part of the floor mostly when foreigners arrive or come to meet their Japanese counterparts at their desk. Silence is maintained and more often than not its the Silence that gets to you. I almost choke on my words when i get up to talk to my client here - mostly coz I , being who I am, haven't spoken in almost 2-3 hrs ( trust me that's almost impossible as some of my friends would say) have forgotten the sound of my voice or am a bit tensed about bursting out at an unrecognizable decibel (atleast for the ones on the floor). I mostly lay low...sometimes thats physically what i do... and get thru the day like the rest on the floor. Then evening comes and its that time of the day again to tell your body to ramp up the blood flow and get moving, mostly coz u dont want to get in the way of the rest of the pedestrians. For kicks i do take breaks in the day to remind my legs they exist .... mostly around this cute baseball field here.
The countrymen don't really love the Americans but do a helluva job at aping them! Baseball, McD's,Starbucks and the whole enchilada.
Night comes and the city looks like the home of a million or zillion Fireflies! Its a pretty sight. Moreover the displays in the windows almost make you wanna walk into every store and buy all you can. Well it's atleast what i did a few years ago. I'm wiser now..not that the things i bought weren't good but its just that it's all stuff... Stuff you have no clue what to do with :). So the walk home's a delight and almost feels like scenes out of the movie "Confessions of a Shopaholic".
Then I reach my humble abode... really humble... wooden flooring... technologically advanced kitchen , bathroom and lighting... The Works!! I don't even own part of the stuff in that room in my place in Bangalore! Its got awesome beds... sexy TV... Super loo and totally worthy of the name. It's the most pleasurable item in the room with the bed a close second.
The weekend's almost here and well I'm hoping to go shop and binge on the awesome seafood here. This is the part where i thank my parents for being Bengali and me being totally affectionate towards the delectable sea creatures!
While writing this I took a break and I'm just back from the walk around the park / field. I realized it is a pain not to know the local language as when a real sweet person walks up to you and decides to begin a conversation and you have no clue what the poor fellow's trying to say ...you're cursing urself for not really taking those Japanese classes. First of all its not everyday that a person of the masculine gender in Japan finds the courage to open their mouth and speak to the opposite gender and here you are looking all stupid and you might as well have been Dumb. Anyways we sat there on the park bench staring into space and sipping our coffees. Finally i got up and left with a smile!
Coming back to work and hoping that the flow in the article would somehow translate into the work too. Music playing in the background and the Blank ppt staying as blank as possible. Today is just going so slow and I have about 3 hrs to begin the weekend. Though not much to do there either but still hope's alive.
This place is beautiful and clean ...one would imagine this is how heaven's streets would look... Garbage here also is cleaner than the cleanest streets in India. Traffic here well almost non existent. If you hear a horn well that means your dreaming as no one honks...which is funny...and ppl still get to wherever they want on time!
So this post might go on and on and if i dont stop i might never get a word on that ppt ...so here is me saying Sayonara and Konbanwa ( good evening). Cya!

Go Get It

2011-10-08T01:18:00.003+05:30

You need that new bag...
get the grades they said

You need that college...
get the marks they said

you need that new dress...
get in shape they said

you need that lipstick shade
get the complexion they said

you need that promotion...
make the deals they said

you need that car...
make the money they said

you need that luxury...
slum at work they said

you need that life...
make it yourself they said.

Living in my own world

2011-06-21T17:24:00.005+05:30

All around, Everywhere

What I see, is what’s there

A broken window, a tarnished rug,

A ripe fruit near a water jug.

I Look outside on the streets

My favorite place filled with chocolate treats.

I did not see that man before

Sitting beside that shattered door.

The building’s changed, its people new

Cold and unmoved, smiles are few.

I know that girl in the distant shore

She and I once laughed galore.

I move back to the early day

Not a single one I see today

All has passed and moved on too

All once that was changed in hue!

Sometimes I can see what once was

Sometimes it feels like shattered glass

A memory in stone, a whispered hope

A crazy tomorrow to be able to cope

Every time these eyes wander about

In hope to find a sturdy spot

To center in and build around

To make my world on solid ground!!

And I Miss You...

2011-04-30T14:10:00.002+05:30

The gentle touch of your words that put me to sleep

More often to you was a quality not meant to keep

A million seconds of unsaid unexpressed feelings

And I miss you…

Wandering the streets from post to post at night

Taking leaves from work to keep the bosses out of sight

Moving in and out of apartments just to hear the sound of your voice

And I miss you…

Travelling to places just to get you away from them all

Christmases, new years and birthdays all a total recall

Alone or in a crowd a face that rises above all

And I miss you…

No waiting at the balcony or that early morning cup of tea

No one to turn to when it’s dark and impossible to see

Even drives into the wild don’t make much sense anymore

And I miss you…

And then the hope still remains to get you a step closer

Turn me into the hoped dreamy renowned composer

The lyrics are me and the music is you

Until that day I will miss you!!

The Green and The Blues!!!

2011-02-16T14:39:00.000+05:30

I can't blame you

You were smart

Money hoarding was never in your heart

The greenery you liked,

Of Forests and Trees

Rarely reflected the inner scenery

Of notes and coins

And shiny things

A smile to your face it never did bring

But lil did u know

For the things given up

One day happiness will be linked up

Not yours but everyone dear to u

Would blame and name call

Even change their hues

Its not them nor you nor this cruel world

Sometimes time's the only criminal

That craziness and tantrums hurls!!!

Finding you

2011-02-01T01:59:00.001+05:30

I can’t play dirty

I can’t even cheat

When it comes to claiming my prize

I mostly have cold feet

I’m not meant for this place

I belong to cleaner air

I think and see things

At times that aren’t even there

Some call me insane

Some question my pride

It’s the strength within

That makes me face the tide.

What drives me this far

To test my mettle is not known

This feeling that somewhere somehow

I’ll be surprised for sure

This guiding light

That is burning bright

Brings to mind the one thing

That till date is outta sight.

You're within me

Deep in the core of my soul

Telling me that everything’s alrite

Even when my heart’s gone cold!!

Need...

2011-01-14T16:41:00.000+05:30

I need a man

to hold my hand

and walk with me if you can

I need a man

To humbly stand

Even when life throw's a party grand

I need a man

Who sees way beyond

The things of which he's fond

I need a man

A quiet soul

The turmoil inside to hold

I need a man

In the darkest night

To take me on the wildest flight

I need a man

An assurance sure

A mare in me to forever lure

I need a man

To stick by me

And I forever will his be!!!

Going

2010-12-31T10:34:00.000+05:30

And I wake up and think
Do u have to go away
Sit with me just this once
Sipping tea and whiling time away

Tomorrow comes too soon
Today is barely done
What I have and want to say
Will take a while to come undone

Wait this once, right now!
This time will pass by so slow
Stand still and silently gaze
Until its finally ur time to go!

Dream a dream...

2010-12-28T23:42:00.000+05:30

It doesnt matter if its big
Or small as it can be
Let it be all it can
Give it wings and set it free

Hold it close to your heart
Farther than the torch of flames
In your palms and on your lips
Keep it safe from all mind games

Love it like a child that's yours
Treat it like its already grown
Have it on your mind all day
Reap the seed thats sown

Feed it the fuel it needs to bloom
Keep it running on throughout
When its ready to take flight
Just scream and let it out

It in turn will help you soar
On to a higher ground
Take you from a place on earth
Making you Heaven bound!!!

There and Back again...

2010-12-16T16:55:00.000+05:30

The day has finally arrived

He walks again

If only for a minute to stand back on his feet

Tall, though stumbling; brilliance in stature

Foot to head all radiating

A distant uproar to welcome him

A giant amongst the halflings

Off to take what was once his!

So here he goes on

A while before all is reclaimed

The pedestal that gathers dust

Now bears the man he is!

Come now, one and all

From lands afar and wide

Won’t be too long till time tells the tale

Of this MAN so Strong!!!

(For the man I've idolized all my life.... Baba this is for you)

I am Living

2010-11-30T20:52:00.000+05:30

Wake up to the sounds of the drums

Swing to the music that I hum

Spring in step and a song on my lips

And I am Living!

Work a crazy schedule to the fullest

Hang with friends that are the coolest

Laugh, cry, scream then shy

And I am Living!

Hop from place to place

Energies unparalleled by any other face

Joys, hopes and love blended

And I am Living!

Work and play in a well brewed concoction

Conversations and crazyness I’d never auction

Hues of life in me you’d die for!

And I am living…..are you???

I am Ready!!!

2010-11-19T17:16:00.000+05:30

Racing thoughts in my head
Pondering on words said
Analysing each move before i tread
And I am ready!

Visions of need and want
Hopes and dreams in a new font
Scares me for the i do or dont.
And I am ready!

Will he be my all
Will I be the one to fall
Will it be answered? My heart's call
And I am ready!

All I need to know
Is standing at my door
Waiting for Love's downpour
And I am definitely ready!!!

The Analysing brain….

2010-11-17T22:36:00.002+05:30

The impulse to think

A dangerous thing

A tool in the hands of the mind’s right wing!

A thought outta the blue

Making one a shrew

Committing actions one would rarely do

Deep within the mind

The thought unwinds

Giving momentary pleasure to the one confined

Looking back to the deed

Now paying deserved heed

Trying to turn time on a sown seed

This play will dictate

Another man’s fate

Harmless yet cruel you sedate

Think and act

A closed pact

To thoughts generated off tact

You and I

Together we fly

Delivering the lie to the untamed Eye!!!

The Conqueror

2010-10-04T23:20:00.000+05:30

Passion drives you every step of your way

There are times when you don’t even notice the stare

The amazement and wonder one has in their eye

To see a mere mortal reach for the sky

Humbly, yet full of zest you strum along

Energetically and carefully creating your song

Dreams galore and the power within

To strive for more than just heaven

Its there for each and every one to see

It’s a piece of you woven so beautifully

A worker, achiever and master at that

Glimpses of the conqueror as named apt!

(P.s. For the conqueror I know!)

Snapshot!

2010-08-27T22:17:00.000+05:30

The rain pours in on the lilies

Water trickling down the leaves

A ray of sunshine beams through the clouds

A small rainbow on the ground!

Winds gushing in from the west

Paddy fields swishing to the beat.

Harmonically moving bends of the river

Meandering through the wilderness!

Birds take cover under the trees

An occasional attempt to fly away

Bravery and curiosity together blended well

Alas they’ve got to wait!

The eagle up high with a splendid view

Watches with a detailed eye

The scenic beauty beneath her grow

Nose diving into the heart of it all!

Sudden roar in the skies

She shudders and she shrieks

Her face lights up from within

All life a standstill!

A brief moment in time

Captured through the lens of the eye

Never a detail forgotten

Penned down for time immortal!!!

Coming back to LIFE!!!

2010-07-16T11:49:00.000+05:30

It’s all down to this

Life’s gone amiss

Things we worked for before

Have received a goodbye kiss

Work and money

Are the new trends honey

Jokes cracked in younger years

To none seem now funny.

A word to the wise

Open up your eyes

This life you are leading now

A brew of deceit and lies.

Moving in this rat race

With no breathing space

Not time enough to notice

You’re stuck to the Rocket’s base

You burn and you pine

In your brilliance you shine

Each day takes away from you

The sweetness of life’s wine.

Days are nearing in

With you shedding your skin

Becoming a different person

From the one that is within

The return has begun

For the world wide web that’s spun

Moving forward into the future

Until the dawn of a new Sun!!!

A Bridal State!

2010-06-11T15:00:00.000+05:30

That first step out the door

A heart beating fast and then slow

Gasping for breath with every move

The thought of the world closing in on you

The anxiety and the excitement all in one

Smile tears and wishes in tones

A hand leading u out there

Arms welcoming you with care

Eyes on you from every corner of the room

The one’s ur stuck on would hopefully be the groom

A pacifying smile, a soothing touch

Somethin out there for u to clutch

This will be done and over soon

Even though it’s a rare moon

Cherish and treasure all there is

The warmth and love in the eyes of his

All else will fly by in a whiz

Making you Mrs from a Ms

The look and the feel stay longer

The main ingredients to make u stronger

Life will take you through its course

This time being the only source

To remind you what it is and always be

A man’s love that brought him to his knee!!!

MAN!!!

2010-04-21T17:00:00.002+05:30

Coming of age – a physical phenomenon

The brain however slumbers inside

A sudden display of sense – burning out

The simplest things you can’t decide.

Your hand being held from the dawn of time (yours)

Your mum, your friend and then your wife.

Traits you once had overshadowed by uncontested Ego

Strength and Bravery amongst the others since the age of Five

Time however heals all wounds – the one’s most appreciated

Chivalry and Decisiveness are now down the drain

Indulging in self understanding and betterment a thing of the past

Time investment on uncomprehended traits one shall refrain

The latest trend – a social butterfly

Perfect camouflage to the mask you already wear.

Not a care you feel – why should you

Most often than not to you it isn’t even there.

It seems time isn’t teaching you a thing

Lessons of the past are safely vaulted.

You shall get what is in store for you

My man, Charity from my end has NOW HALTED!!!

Happiness

2010-04-12T18:22:00.000+05:30

Happiness inspires me to sing

A line, a limerick, a song or such a thing

Maybe to the beat of my crazy feet

Or it could be just a rhythm-less tweet

The reason so bizarre yet beautiful

A smile to my face small yet so blissful

Not a care or worry to think of now

This minute no Where? What? Or How?

Just fleeting thoughts of memories

Of times of love, happiness and even anxieties

The times that were and the ones to come

Making one’s heart pound to the rhythm of a drum.

This music within my soul

Increasing in beat like a drum roll

The feeling though now begins to fade

But its something for which nothing I’ll trade

A line, limerick and just a song

With me will stay my whole life long

I’ll remember the words and even its beat

Long after the rhythm is lost by my feet!!!!

The AUTO Ride

2010-04-06T14:52:00.000+05:30

It’s late in the evening

I’m wondering which road to take

I look out my window

To hear the traffic and brake

I’m still in the office

Its better I holler a friend

Maybe we’d squeeze past this jam

Or maybe I’d be stuck here till ten

The thought has to come to my mind

To give the rikshawala another try

But it’s been more than once now

My hopes have all run dry!

The ease and comfort in which he denies

A ride to every person seeking a ride

His heartless reply and the look to deny …

You a lift from off the road side!!

Occasionally you’d find a helpful soul

To see the desperation in your eye

He’d offer you up a metered ride

Like an angel who heard your cry

This of course is a one in billion chance

For most often than not for sure

You have to tread back home

Or your own car’s the only CURE!!!

It's Me

2009-12-07T21:55:00.002+05:30

When things go wrong and I turn to see
It's weird now that it's just me
All I do is a thing of the past
Friends I had and those I lost

In time I know we'll meet again
To share laughter and all the pain
Now it seems there's no one around
Just me staring at the ground

It slips beneath me from time to time
I grasp and hold on to life's vine
Its odd and sometimes yet so small
For as time goes on I grow so small

Each day now flies by so fast
A moment I wait and in the shadow it's cast
People come in these days for a while
They smile they sing they even cry like a child

A day will come not long from now
I'd wanna turn back time somehow
Roll to the days I sang and smiled
Be with people that were worthwhile

Not that new friends dont mean that much
Connections weak and soul untouched
It's me I know I dont let them in
Dont give a chance for them to win

My heart and my soul cries out again
Make me wat I was when I was ten
A bird, a girl a lively soul
Not a care or worry in the world

Frustration and lies have taken over
Draggin me to a place no longer sober
Searching for materialistic gain and things
To somehow drive away this pain it brings

No one these days can see wat I feel
The mask I wear seldom reveals
Feelings or things I'd like be known
Emotions they say weaken the grown

Humour has taken a twisted path
Responisibility and sarcasm brew in its bath
Time has gone for honesty or love
This day a fool I have become!!!!

Hillman Wonders of the World

2009-10-26T06:22:00.000+05:30

Hillman Wonders of the World

Star Spangled Banter

2009-09-17T12:33:00.001+05:30

The nite before was full of its suprises when a friend (Anubhav) came over with a rather unusual gift! A fish bowl with two amazingly cute Orandas ( Fancy gold fish). After cleaning the bowl and setting it up with the fish and playin with them I decided to konk only to have all u wonderful ppl call me and leave me all starry eyed from the wishes ( and I kept up till around 3). Oh and btw my new roomie who's just moved in landed up with a real cool perfume and then resumed watchin her tv - she needs a daily dose of 3-4 hrs else she wont feel she's downloaded enuf material for her night fantasies :P heheheheh
The D day started on a rather hopeful note when my early morning japanese class was cancelled as my prof isn't keeping well (sad for him but great for me ) Reached office at a lazier hour than usual to find my cubicle cramped with balloons and ppl all waiting to hog on sweets. Was bloody tired smiling away to glory and saying "Thank you please help urself to some sweets". Then the long list of phone calls and emails...and ooooh 2 damn hot guys (god knows where they came from) in office came up and chatted with me for like 15 -20 mins.... hehehehehe
the day went on with wishes, winks and work (though the last I barely did as mostly stared at me screen while answering calls :) ) The day went by in a whiz with the office guys gettin me a cute wood – cut jewellery box and some chocolates.
Towards the afternoon when all was just abt dying I had my darling(Richu) send me a box of Oh-So-Awesome Chocolate Brownies all the way from Naaaaagpuuuuurr ..... I totally controlled my self from opening them in office as I knew they'd be over in a jiffy so quietly hid them in my bag and went home to indulge in the sinful taste of awesome brownies.... (for info the place from where she sent it was Tauby's - known for their sinful confectionerys and weight gainers hahhaahaha)
Anyways soon very bored at work and majorly excited abt the evening I was off home.... went and felt like a school kid hoggin on chips :D (the ones that are generally served at bday parties with a slice of cake)
Then began the evening extravaganza :).... Dee came over and picked me up for dinner....
We went to this place called Ista - Amazing ambience, semi open air poolside restaurant.
The service was awesome. The company Oh-So-Charming! The Food so delicious! And to top it off there was live music playin some awesome songs - black magic woman to sounds of silence.... guitar and the sax :) Totally starry eyed by then we were done with dinner and I guess 'twas time to go home :)
At home I was left in a total daze with the effects of an awesome day and in my possession few very priceless pieces of art and love and a B-E-A-utiful pen to write all this down with(Waterman -paris courtesy Dee).
All this took a while to settle in and I just couldn’t get sleep :)
Finally coaxed myself into bed by 2 only to wake up late for work today hehehehhehe
Comin to office I find the most unusual mail from my HOD (Very hot married german guy) wishing me a great birthday and all and personalizing a mail that he generally doesnt do .... Lucky me I say!!!
Anyways so that's abt it for my star spangled banter :) thanks to everyone who made it so so so special...All the emails phone calls and pings :D
Love ya all totally!!!!

Bittersweet Symphony!!!

2009-08-05T15:17:00.001+05:30

A drop and another after that
On and on they flow in succession
A perfect beat to the rhythm
And then all in one splat!

It rings and rings around my ear
The rambling house fly she is
Making music or so she says
Sometimes things I cant hear.

A noise here and one there again
Make for new beats and sounds
Making melody oh so clear
An now the flow oh so plain

The dew drops in the early morn
From leaf to leaf they go
The birds chirping away
Giving way to the sounds of the horn!

Everyone around and in the colony
Have their own rhythm and voice
Together with the beats of my heart
Give melody to the perfect bittersweet symphony!!!

Cleanup!!

2009-07-20T19:58:00.001+05:30

Every once in a while we do a cleanup...just like our rooms, cabinets etc. Generally the things we don’t need anymore are discarded and the ones we rarely use are kept at the back of the shelves. Similarly even with life... our brain processes memory with the most recalled and used bits to the ones seldom used and catalogs it accordingly. The bits that we should never remember are most often thrown out unconsciously and the ones which should reside inside keep popping in our head every now and then. Feelings most often are kept in such a way that our body recognizes the best and the worst much faster than the ones that don’t have a higher impact. Its probably because the extremes are the ones we use to compare for the newer emotions or data we receive daily. Anything in between is gray matter - mostly difficult to differentiate between. Black and white are the purest colors and so the highest degree of feelings on the positive or negative are the only purest forms of that emotion. Comparison is a very important tool used for almost anything as categorizing is done within the head and outside with or without your control over it. So here coming to the crux of the matter - Every now and then I categorize my life and wardrobes and take full control over the process. I don’t want to forget things and feelings I’d like to keep with me forever just because I’m not in touch with it or do not have more of it in the present but I want it to be there with me. So here I am today Cleaning Up. Its been a while I know but I guess its time now for that dreaded cleanup.

I guess we all like to keep the happy things and discard the unhappy ones but it's time not do that and keep it as reference to what I do not want ever! It's been for real long that I keep telling myself that what one does to me it's not necessary the next will do the same but alas! This is the real world and you shall receive in accordance with what u will or will not allow. You cannot change what someone will say or do but u can change the effect it has on you. So this time don't let things get to you, let the lessons that come stick in your head. One can only control the way they feel and not what someone else dishes out due to bad circumstances. U can control feelings and not circumstances! So well the next time someone says something to you good or bad you will generally feel good or bad just evaluating the weightage of that statement or action but that's not it - if u feel its repetitive its generally coz your rules aren't set in your head and the grey is more than the distinctive black or white. This is generally because u don't have things sorted in your own head and hence you don't have a clear hold on the situation.
Not always can we look at personal matters so objectively and cold heartedly but sometimes this approach helps you to keep your standards and priorities sorted out and helps you from getting too entangled in the general rut of the "Moment".

Most often this is most difficult when we're dealing with someone of high importance - family, close friends, lovers and idols! When one deals with this its difficult to let go of the position/ status you've assigned to this one person who's causing you all this anguish and you're not sure whether your supposed to let go(clean up) or let them continue to bog your mind down with all their comments, actions and inconsistencies or plain shortcomings (putting it on back burner).I've come to believe no matter what u cannot make people see what they have or don't unless they open their eyes. Helping is what u can do and that's it! Undue advantage and taking for granted are the side effects when the one u place high and above steps down and doesn't treat you with the same respect you have given them. In this case most often you're hurt the most and wonder what went wrong. Well "You" went wrong in - placing faith and trust in probably someone without them earning it! Even if done so one should at intervals check if there is a mutual flow of respect and maintain the sanctity of the relationship. If you feel its one way - whichever way it may be then we surely have a problem. Fix it or Let it go!

What happens hereon will be your fault as you knew it was gonna happen sooner or later. So now we are back in that state of utter chaos. Well this time keep your experiences and maintain the bar! This holds true for the good things in life too. You cant get too comfortable with all you receive as sooner or later your not maintaining your end of the bargain. If u gained some ground with whomever including Family you always have to maintain the bar. You cannot get too comfortable just being at the receiving end coz sooner or later the one giving feels cheated and then all you get is either because they cant stop now or because its more to do with empathy of knowing if you lose this you might lose a lot! So even when its good every now and then you have to in some way or the other make the parties involved constantly interested in this. Everything in life though is not looked at with a business mind, if you do so you maintain your good ties for a longer period than when in a state of "Yeah they're always there for me" or "They're taking care of it why bother". You cannot just sit on your arse and expect things to run smoothly coz sooner or later the lubrication is gone and your machine will fall apart!

The Cleaning is required. Rejuvenate everything you have to make it all new and perfectly oiled at every opportunity you have. If you don't oil it then who will? Everyone responds to gestures from the heart - when one puts in some effort and keeps the fire burning then even the other hand raises to shelter it from the wind. If it doesn't then you know for sure that THIS AINT WORKING NO MORE and let it be.

So now I'm off Cleaning - hoping most make the transition to the new phone book :)

A Fond Farewell

2009-06-24T14:13:00.001+05:30

“I got thru a b-school” ,”Yipee”, “Charrraaaaasss”…..
Jubilant and excited they call all of us and share their joy of getting thru the b schools of their choice. All in that moment everyone’s reached that state of ecstasy and there’s this sudden burst of smiles and a short thank you to HIM. And then the months pass in a jiffy and the notice period comes to an end and its finally time to go. Life’s passing by in fleeting moments and somewhere everyone close is dreading the moment when we have to say our goodbyes. The moment has come. It’s the day now where I will smile while I say goodbye hoping that we will meet again. Knowing life takes you to beautiful places and new faces and considering the herb intake resulting to memory loss is more obvious than not that somewhere down the line we may lose touch and may even forget all the times and laughs shared. These will be remembered when somewhere in the company of new friends we recollect those times…
Here goes for all the times we’ve had and those we hoped we would :)
To Shanks, Kavya and Madzz… For the new life in front of you!

The alarm rings and its time to catch the cab
It’s the last flight outta here this time
At the door and looking back twice
Checking again if u’ve left anything behind

Turn and then move on again
You have someplace to be
Smiles and butterflies all alike
For things that u’ve been waiting to see

All the eyes are stuck on you right now
Friends, foes and family too
Glimpses to keep forever with them
From what u were and how u’ve grown

Memory tests the sands of time
As phone calls and mails await
Busy as u maybe from now
Reply even though if late

Tell of times you go thru
Smiles and tears all alike
Make me see all there is
And all that u feel like

Time and again we shall meet
In memories of days gone by
Right now all I wish to say
Is do well and a wishful goodbye!!!

For the Friend in You ... From the Friend in Me

2009-06-16T16:29:00.000+05:30

Putting words to pen was never tough
Although today I huff and I puff
Thinking of the right words to describe
The exact feeling that exact vibe
That makes me feel lil bubbles burst inside
Like the coke add running now world wide
How do I say it and what words to use
To make u understand why ur the muse
Of my writings today and for a while to come
Giving my heart now rhythmic beats of a drum
It all sounds gibberish and I feel so too
But thoughts race outta my mind that was once blue
Catching fleeting thoughts was never so tough
As before the sight of u never played bluff
A glimpse and a frown turns upwards now
A joke though at times so pakaooo
Takes me to a place I knew was within
That a friend like u turned tears to a grin
I wanted to tell u how I feel
About the way u spin my worldly wheel
I hope I do not come across too strong
My words at times do come out wrong
I wish to say that I care a lot
U’ll be in my mind even after I’m long forgot!!!

Trust ...

2009-05-11T14:45:00.000+05:30

I say I trust you
It makes u feel good
But not for a moment do I
Let u look under the hood

I criticize and complain
At times wish to change
Leaving things not the way they are
Not even a single dirty pane

The windows I gaze out of
Let me see a different world
Sometimes it shows the truth
And then again it fools the girl

Innocence and starry eyes
Make me believe what I see
Perspective and reality
Tweak at times my beautiful dreams

Then I get lost in all the confusion
Created by my methodical brain
Only to come to terms with what I know
And mostly follow the path of my chosen train.

If u try to know me
You’ll have to try very hard
For though I say I trust you
I’ve never let u get that far

Maybe I’m tough and critical
Of what you say and do
But I know everything that I Lack
And things I Learn and Need from you

Last but not the least
The trust I speak about
Is the guard I haven’t let down
The door you’ve been trying to part!

Sarcasm

2009-04-20T16:43:00.000+05:30

When words flow to the rhythm of a beat
To make every sentence sound so sweet
This is not one of those lines
Do u think sweetness is the only thing that rhymes?

Find beauty in words often thrown
In a manner that one refuses to own
Maybe from time to time you’ll see
It can ring in your ears like the humming of the bee

The time does not dictate its act
More often than not its just stating the fact
What makes u shrug or run away from it
Is that its probably the truth u cannot live with

The rhythm though so uncannily fine
It makes u skip a beat and well not for the rhyme
You jump in your seat as the target is hit
Wondering what the hell would be its next bit

Though small yet with a perfect wit
It still brings u down from where u currently sit
It finds and makes all exaggeration disappear
Cutting through your heart like a poisoned spear

Its often accompanied by emotional bliss
For the one that’s receiving it, it goes amiss
If you get it and still hope your not the one
It’ll hit u again and you’ll come undone

What brings it on one cannot imagine
What ticks one off in a ghastly fashion
Once the arrow has left its bow
Pray for the poor one who doesn’t know

Its him who’ll need all solace
For sarcasm in itself is one’s Saving Grace!!!!

Feeling Strongly ...

2009-04-14T16:45:00.002+05:30

In these times of uncertainty generally in work, life and perspective; at times I find it so difficult to feel strongly about something and stay that way. I feel torn, worn and mostly spent on things that don’t matter much in the grander scheme of life. Weird as the feeling maybe it’s mostly exhilarating to find something that moves me so much as to wanna pen it down. Today I think about all the things that move and excite me but nothing compares to the feeling and adrenaline rush that THOUGHT brings more than the stimulant.
It’s this feeling that I want a daily dose of – anything a song, a poem, words, a touch or a smile or just the sight of my favorite things or the THOUGHT of these that keep me reliving the moments. It makes the very last hair on body stand with a chill down my spine and this cool current on the back of my neck as though someone’s breathing and running their fingers down my neck. It’s the exact feeling I replicate on various occasions and that’s what’s so addicting that I can't get enough of it.
So what do I do!! Well I at anytime do exactly wat I feel… at work I think of things that are so stimulating that a good 30 -45 mins go in just getting high till its gone again and I get back to the drag of work with a clearer head and better perspective to stuck up work.
I don’t need screwed work for me to want the high… sometimes for the pure joy of it I can go into my trance and get clearly happier than before and so relaxed.
The things that give me the high are Songs, Poems, a Voice, The joy of words being typed crazily on a typewriter, hands on clay, eyes playing with each other, stationery and books, whistling trees and wind rustling leaves, silence when we’re under the stars, ur smile that lights ur face up, the rain, snowy roads, cooking, and well this list is long long long….
This is why I thought what better to write about today than the fact that wat I’m doin right now is giving me a certain high though if seen from a third perspective would look as wasting a good 30 mins on personal work in office but this is gonna make me alive…
I don’t like letting a good thought pass by without experiencing it totally so I write when I want to and sing when I feel like and say wat I want to when I mean it and the rest is just a chain reaction… a spontaneous impulsive reaction to all that is thrown back till I am satisfied with the tussle between me and the thought and we’re back to our original state!
I have no clue how much of this you will get but do I care! Frankly I don’t give a rat’s arse cos this typing’s making me so dizzy that I’m already high on words and I have no reason to use the friggin backspace key as this is just flowing into something that will keep me a lil high for quite some time!
I’ve begun it ..i can see… ur infected aren’t u??? U wanna be here with me too don’t u…in this state… well u already are!! U don’t need to close ur eyes u can feel the blood rush and its beginning….
Well enjoy this darlings! Its gonna be a lovely evening!

Catching Up ...

2009-04-06T16:03:00.002+05:30

Rushing through days life’s passing by like the breeze… I stop and stand wondering where I’m going? And then again there’s no time to do even that. Each day running into the next and then the following giving me but a little time fro myself to sit and ponder about what’s actually happening!
Running through work hoping tomorrow will be a different day when deep down inside I know that it’s not. Nothing’s gonna change unless and until I find a way to strike a balance between my mind, my racing heart and my materialistic existence!
I prepare a schedule almost every morning only to find at times failing miserably to even adhere to the smallest of tasks!! Then I think maybe all this discipline and order is not what I really want! Maybe I wanna just get up and do what makes me happy….and then it struck me… I really don’t know what makes me happy anymore! In finding happiness in small things I’ve lost the bigger picture… how did I manage to do that???
This is why I know now all this is just a really weird way of my mind trying to catch up to my ever changing heart and knowing WHAT Makes me HAPPY???
Too many questions… Too many answers… One purpose! Selfishness! Focus! Elimination of things I don’t see fit in my world!
With this purpose I now know what I seek… now I know where I’ll find it…. Now I know who will facilitate! Yeah all that Jazz about its within you…. Well yeah its not…its not just within you coz “You” is a word when looking from another’s eyes. “Me” makes it too selfish for one to see good for themselves. It’s more like when u know u wanna do something real for once and your convinced about what it is u really want… everyone and everything around u will motivate u to get to where u really want or what u really want… Somehow this concept never really sank in before and even when I’d get it partly I’d just somehow get a lil lost in its meaning! Now I have to Catch up!!! Lost time and lost energy aren’t coming back!!! I need to make do with all I have to get what it is I want…. Yes and You … Yeah YOU are gonna help me!!! You know when I say You it is YOU!!!
I’ll be with You and you with me!!! Lets Catch up… Lets just find a new me and a new you….
You take from me what u need and I from you… Yes be selfish… who isn’t? Don’t worry in the end it really doesn’t matter how you got to where u are as long as you know what u got is really worth having! Everything is justified!
So why wait Lets CATCH Up!!! We all have enough work to do!! Lets get what we wanted… I know you really want it!! Come lets Run alongside Life and Live it!
She’s Waiting since very long… The time has come! Are u with me??? :D

I

2009-03-23T18:06:00.003+05:30

Seasons change and time flies by
I know ill never be what I am tonight
I take this moment to look and tell
What ticks me off and what rings the bell

Who I am now I cannot say
What ill be tom...well it’s another day
Today I feel I’m all I can be
Another day It's an opposite scene

I riddle and I rhyme...
I play mind games from time to time
I tease and I lift u up
I make u royal and reduce u to pulp

I like what I can or cannot see
I hide from you all I want to be
I make you want more than u can get
I make u lose less than you've bet

I am your all I am nothing too
I am your wish and am your blues
I am me and more often than not
I am someone u hoped I was not

I don’t hold back most of what is mine
I mostly get tarnished around with time
I will change and become a newer shade
I will soon turn to dust and fade

I cannot hold back what will become
I cannot be now what is yet to come
I do mostly what I feel I like
I cannot be controlled or momentum hiked

I go at my pace and then I change course
At times I get bored of the regular force
I like my challenge and like respite
I like this adoration and at times limelight.

I can be in the dark and glow oh so bright
I can stand beside you and still be outta sight
I am all the company and am loneliness too
I need everything with me and then again nothing new

I can let u go and take all u have to give
I can hold u close and leave u in bliss
I forget and let go and remember all I want
I remember and hold on and let memories haunt

I can go on and on and then abruptly leave
I say nothing and can still have u bleed
I be polite and nurture all there is
I tend to be blunt and even so ruthless

I hold u close and let u in
I move so fast to even block the wind
I go from cold to hot in a wink of an eye
I can at times leave u wanting high and dry

This I tell u this moment and now
Who knows what tom I would allow
Maybe I'd be exactly the same
And then again I’d play another game

All I know I am what I am
It’s just a different rearranged anagram
I be everything I know is within me
It’s a different picture of the same scenery!

Confusion ...

2009-03-05T15:01:00.001+05:30

Here I am staring at the screen again
With no words left to write.
Why do I feel so spent yet restless?
And what makes me these words recite?

I’ve been here before haven’t I?
New it seems, yet familiar tones
The voice is so clear in my head
I can feel it right down to my bones.

What is it making me come back?
How does this hold a sway?
I never knew it could be so deep
And somehow I think it may go away.

Pessimism and Reality
These days go hand in hand
I think it’s the Hope u bring
That gives me the longest stand

I think I’d leave and yet wonder
How can I let go of this now?
This gift isn’t for me to give up
It’s never been mine somehow

A light breeze blowing over the land
The smell of spring’s leaves
You bring to me these little joys
As if it were tricks up your sleeves

A smile, a wink and then the gaze
I wonder what they mean?
A word, a phrase and then the song
And now I feel like a queen

Royalty in its own has what it takes
To get u to your knees
But what’s the use of making u bow
When I’m already at ur feet!

Gettin it on in Nippon

2009-02-25T07:17:00.002+05:30

6 am and the rain is falling…
Its chilly outside with the hope of snow! Oh how I’d wish to see it fall!
Clean roads glazed with sparkly rain water! The drops are oh so tiny.. and soft!
And then this sudden chill down my spine from feeling cold and lonely far away from where I belong. In the balcony staring at the tiny droplets of water I wish for garam chai and bhajji’s but alas! If wishes were horses…. Anyhow I get my lazy arse back inside and keep the tea to boil…I like it creamy and gingeryy … I bring out my last haldiram’s packet of bhujiya and enjoy every last bit of it with the chai. Playing in the rain like a small girl I come back with wet hair and a sneeze! Achhhoooo!!!! Mummy come dry my hair!!! But well I get the towel and do it myself.
As the day progresses and im at work… A new place … new culture… new rules and well new violations!!! So lets see what do I see around…. Short people scurrying to work and being totally cramped in the train??? Quite contrary… They’re not as short as we think… I believe the “mingling” with the Germans and Americans have gotten them to mix up the genes!!! :D Disorganized? Well certainly not they have instructions to walk and stand and even bloody pee so how can anyone fuck up there! They’re so mechanical that they live by the bell!! I mean it … there is an entry bell at 8 am and then at 9 with a lunch bell at 12, where all the lights of the office are switched off so that one can take a power nap after lunch, then a reminder at 12 55 that one should wake up and then a 1 pm bell to get back to work ,with the lights all turned on to give u that feeling of finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!!! This is not it there’s a “Go home bell” at 5 for those who came at 8 and then well another at 6 for the entries at 9… finally a “Fuck go home bell” at 7 forcing employees working late due to incompetence or plain tardiness to scoot home!!! This amazed me for a bit but well there’s more. Since from time to time one doesn’t complete his “Power Nap” within the stipulated hours you’d find a few snores in the bathrooms! To add to all this most people here have a nightly bathing ritual or something coz they just wake up in the morning, get ready and begin their mechanical lives. To compensate for missed activities office hours are conveniently used to brush teeth and well complete morning ablutions. :) These people work real hard and stick to their 9-6 jobs and then party harder!!! Well anyways they’re sweet and helpful especially when I don’t know jackshit Japanese!
So the week goes by in a whiz and the weekends here!!! Yay!! So here I am with a handful of Indians and an even lesser number in terms of cool quotient! So we decide to try our hands at some skiing or rather legs!!! We traveled to this awesome place called Nagano – Hakuba :D and Whoa it was cold and we saw some tourists spots – Castles , mountains and bars hehehhe Got sloshed and well sang our hearts out!! Next morning hit the ski zones and well by the end of it were dead tired and sleepy!!! All this fun on my first weekend and I started getting greedy for more
Following weekends weren’t as dramatic or far fetched but had good fun bowling and oh yess!!! Shopping!!! And ofcourse pubbin :D
Nightlife in Japan is in no way compared to Bangalore…. The night’s done at 11:30 in Bangalore where as here public don’t hit the bars till around 12 or 1…. Partying all night is a common thing and people just flock streets and go pub hopping! Its full of colours and booming with technology… They have some small lil gadget for like everything!!! Trust me u’d love the Toilets… or Super Toilets as they call it. Right from flushin ur arse to warming ur butt ( the best thing in the winters)they actually take ur arse and in a nice way  hehehhehe
Kids and Adults all alike are crazy about Video games and any game in general and most people here alongwith their day jobs do social work or teach at community centres or schools. All in all they balance their lives well!!
My stay here was more than what I’d expected it to be and well all thanks to the kudmud gang here that showed me a gud time!! ;) Awaiting my next visit here and the places I’ll be hitting.
Well till next time I’ll sign off sayin
Domo arigato gozaimasu, Sayonara (Thank you very much, goodbye)

Bangalore Blues and Greens ...

2009-01-20T09:34:00.001+05:30

I know its been real real long since the last post but traveling, shifting and finding a roof to shelter me in exchange for money and not smiles or major ass kickin.
So I landed here (read Bangalore) on the 7th of December, 2008 to find myself lugging around bags to my hotel room with the help of an already drained dude ( Rohan Rocks!!!)
Then came the first day of office and the excitement was killing. After a real long time I’d be ticking another item of my list of must do / have. The day was done and everyone was warm and welcoming. Looking forward to every day at work and the usual first month went by in a jiffy just adjusting and assimilating everything around you.
After hrs on the other hand was something that I looked forward too as it was the most fulfilling part of the day. And all this was possible thanks to the most lovable guy I met a few years ago and ever since every ass kickin session’s been nothing but pure fun!! Yes I guess he knows it’s him but I’ll single him out nonetheless - Shanky a.k.a Modi a.k.a Wanky (don’t kill me for the last one its K Baby's i believe). Anyways we’ve had some serious times too ( just so that he doesn’t pass off as an ASS) its just that it makes no sense to write about serious stuff :). He introduced me to the most enthusiastic bunch of people full of energy with a dash of madzzznezzz :D Everyone’s weird in their own cute way :D. Since day one its been endless laughs and doses of herbs and spices ;) apart from the regular overdoses of ITC products :). Top it off with some chicken wings and kathi rolls and oh yeah not to forget the ever famous DBC’s (for those who don’t know Death by Chocolates that adorned our kitchen on new years) Ofcourse most of my creative juices were spent in weaving a nice warm blanket of friends for Madzz ;) (she is gonna kill me soon for all the ass kicking :D)
Come weekends and I’d chill with the gang or once in a while meet the other Dawgs I know :D (Shvets + Rohan, Saurav , Chunnu and Sagar). Once in a bit as Naga calls him “Macho Man” would come around and we’d hookah or chill :D. So I believe basically there’s been a lot of enthusiasm shown in lazying around and oh yeah singing at the top of our voices to ruin almost everyone’s sleep :D
Moved into my own place in Jan and so far still unpacking and still managing to sneak a few days back to shank’s warm lil nest which by the way is probably the only best place I know in Bangy. The “Inmates” (called so as this jail kinda makes someone wanna stay on forever) Gunjan and Vipin are probably the warmest people I’ve come across making each day of my then so undetermined length of stay very memorable and leaving me wanting more :). Anyways I see I can go on forever about each and everyone I met and everything I did here so far but I feel something’s are better left unsaid
So till next time…

Gender Bender

2008-11-26T14:37:00.001+05:30

In an age where men are boys and women have lost their inner girls, we strive to become stronger as people in terms of status, money and all the other materialistic attributes.
Somehow we’ve lost the basics in this rush to grow up and prove our mettle. Competition with colleagues, siblings and the world in general to establish one’s own has made us lose out on the smaller pleasures of life.
Let’s begin with the basic stuff….
Men and Women no longer fit the images in our head. The new age woman, as the term has been coined, is this female who has tremendous strength mentally and the will to convert all her dreams to reality. She somehow has not only convinced herself but the world in general that she is of some super human power to protect her naïve and gentle image as a home maker and also change roles to become this major career woman tackling all sorts of tasks physically and mentally. She has managed by her actions and words to overcome all barriers and in this fight has conveniently ignored the finer things in life… she has lost her innocence and sometimes even the gleam in her eye. This woman we’re talking about is not just your top class executives but the very ordinary middle class train-traveling metropolitan-ite that I’ve grown up watching. She wakes up early to be a good “housewife” and cook and clean and wash her kids up only to find herself running to catch the VT / Churchgate fast to work where she faces mostly this male superior who is only wondering as too why she comes to work when she can sit quietly at home and be a “housewife” (in quotes because no one realizes that it takes more out of a woman to be this than work and come home…most often used in a derogatory manner) than rather hog up a seat where he probably thinks another able “man” would fit! The more she pushes to work and justify her position the more he resists and the more the image in his mind is distorted. This very reason of distortion then brings about this really weird change in the man. He begins to feel as though he isn’t good enough and she is trying to take away from him the only thing he can or rather will prove to be good at… his DOMAIN,… his JUNGLE! He, the Come-of-Age Man, has lost his wildness and readiness to take up challenges only to fear the female counterpart to over shadow him. He probably feels that she hasn’t given up her domain (the home) and has now ventured out into his to overpower. He won’t think of it as a gesture of help or one that shows she wants to share the load. He dint ask her to share it now did he??? And this gesture is never obviously interpreted as “I’m sharing ur load ...can u help me out with mine?” Obviously its asking too much of him to help! He has a family to run! In all this Men are filled with disgust and have this standoffish trait that only makes it difficult for them to peacefully coexist! He doesn’t realize in all this he has lost his gift of being MALE… he has unconsciously given up his scepter when no one asked him too! Instead of taking up the challenge he has begun to sulk and become petulant! He at times now wishes he dint have to stand around and watch Her rule, what’s been his for ages, the way she does, which obviously isn’t the right way according to him, so he doesn’t bother to even HELP… and mind u this is his own kingdom . Somehow with one swoop now everything is bestowed upon her with the ever increasing expectations to serve better at home too just as a final attempt to try and get her back. What ever happened to the old school of thoughts… u come into my domain and I fight you to keep it with me… Fight… here in reference a mental struggle to prove that you’re better at what has been yours since time endless… do that… its all yours … she didn’t really want it in the first place. I feel once that happens and they generally get the feeling that they are meant to do only this and this should be theirs… a feeling of OWNERSHIP and some POSSESSIVENESS to what has been given as legacy to them then things will be easier on the both! Once a man realizes that all that is HIS needs to be constantly fought for and his skills made better to keep this his then he retains his manhood. Similarly when a woman realizes the power she holds and uses it well to nurture herself and the family(what ever she calls family) she has for its betterment she keeps her innocence and glow. The tables have turned that the general basic instinct in both have died… neither are themselves and neither agree they’re not.
A few minor changes in the way of thought and I guess we’re back to have our Men like we used to Love and they get their Women as the sort they’d love to woo!!!

Love, remember?

2008-11-14T16:16:00.002+05:30

I wish I’d live a life of no regrets
Everyday a perfect sunset!
Each day passes and I get all from it
Still it’s as though there’s something left
People pass by and I notice you
You stop and I know u’ve noticed me too
We move on as so the world does
Backward glance and forward moves
Smile on my lips and hope in my heart
I go on for the remainder days on the chart.
Etched in my memory a face somewhere
But alas tomorrow is another day!

[P.S. For a friend who probably feels this way due to current circumstances! I know It'll be alright in the end .... To better things and people for u my friend.... always here for u]

Love Actually

2008-11-05T02:36:00.002+05:30

Been noticing this couple since a long long time now and wondering wat the hell were they thinking when they decided to tie the knot!!! And I seriously keep wondering that if they dint find each other then where would they be??? The weirdest thing is that I find this answer in the weirdest places... places where u know it will be it wont really show up... and then when there’s no one around there u see it gleaming in their eyes and then you say “aaahhhhh this is what I want or rather want for the one” .It’s a feeling...yeah I know u know this but I’ll tell u how I came to realise where it really lies.

So he’s an average hard working individual and she’s an average working woman who met at work and well just like any slick man he won her after quite a few one liners and constant persuasion and a wit like none I’ve seen so far. He said he’d be all she ever needed and well she believed him. He loved her and she finally realised she did so too. It took a few months, a lotta patience, a few broken bones and some cooking skills to get them together and ofcourse the gift of the gab that the gentleman was blessed with ;). After all this they took their vows and pledged a lifetime of togetherness. Its definitely not a smooth journey .... its life for heaven sake...when was it supposed to be a cakewalk... its just not a bed of roses. So just like every person they had their ups and downs and trust me enough that most couples now a days would just give up and let go and take their separate ways... I’ve seen most take the easy way out too... but not them. Supporting one another when no one around did and in all this one would think love’s lost for sure and well there were times that I guessed even they questioned its existence but every ray of hope showing better times brought them right back to the day they met and the love just happened all over again...over and over and over. After years of toiling on homeground he decided to venture out seeing that things could be managed here at home. She still thought he cant be by himself and accompanied him in all he did ... some trying times. Its been 25+ yrs and they still went for their evening walks and talks everyday. Then came that day when this could not happen too but still she sat by him reading the news or whatever they could do together. There are times when the whole scene turns into a battlefield of words and general backlash and even namecallin and even at the end of that day they manage to crack some stupid joke and have dinner peacefully. She’s currently out on a trip and just the other day I called to check on them and I heard “its alright she’d be home soon” And the voice on the phone seemed so hopeful and filled with joy that she’s havin a nice time with her school kids somewhere and yet convincing me that he’s ok and anyways all he needs is her.

Thats when I realised I need this...someone who is not just the Mr charming but someone who misses me just because he cant live without me and still keeps it real. You find love in the strangest places and its all about moments like these that give u glimpses of that piece of heaven u want!

[P.S Mummy is obviously something to still keep that fire alive in Dad. Dad definitely still has his way with the Girl!!!!]

Living

2008-10-13T12:25:00.002+05:30

A Hectic week it has been and not due to work pressures in the least. Its due to the fact that the world is full of stupid people that believe that their stupidity is what this world needs.
For a long time now I’ve seen that this world rewards the stupid (or mentally incapable) and ignorant with happiness and peace of mind than the others who believe they can make a difference and even have the balls to begin!
Time, apparently has forgotten what rightfully is its job…. Change! It’s reward to anyone who tries is well not only challenges but undue pain, suffering and the feeling of being left high and dry with nothing to show for it.
There is no such thing as doing the right thing. The parameters against which it is measured is so relative to the ongoing stupidity that in the end the wise are left feeling stupid.
It’s a curse to think and be able to segregate what’s morally right from what’s relatively right. Since all relativity is with mere lesser mortals that basically comprise of filler material to this Matrix we called The World.
The mere fact that you can think outta the frame initially gives you immense pleasure that slowly turns into this feeling of disgust as you know its not worth all the thought put in it and definitely not worth the gallant effort to make the change.
I am the change I tell my self but do I want to change the world is a question often put to my face straight up and with no frills :) So what! I can take that but I know definitely its not worth the things I’m currently doing or the projected future.
I wanted to do just what is right (according to me). That’s not possible I see coz I know the difference between what is morally right and the Widely Accepted RIGHT!
The world in accordance to make things simple has lost control over its basic principles, morals and ethics. People have conveniently started taking everyone for granted to such levels where at times it becomes difficult to understand and see if you’re the problem or the solution.
In efforts to make things easier often we complicate them so much that web we weave gets difficult to get out of so we chose not to see it. A normal person can do this easily as most of us are programmed to ignore…tolerate and cut out off frame. We’re all so Numb that this doesn’t affect us anymore. Keyed puppets, that the simple basic stuff is getting harder to comprehend and one chooses the easy way out always.
It’s tougher when you can see what’s coming to you than when it hits you suddenly. In both cases no one is really equipped to deal with it or handle the pain but the latter is a one shot/blow and recuperation is slow but sure to get you back to the initial equilibrium. In the first case your equilibrium is already way off in the anticipation of what’s gonna hit you that once it does you don’t know if you want to get back to your old life and not sure if the life you make is gonna be relatively Right for u!
Strength has lost its importance. It’s no longer a virtue. It has become something that makes you look foolish eventually in a world where the masses are lost and your the odd one out. Follow the set path…don’t break your line of thought… Tolerate!
Principles, morals and etiquettes get you as far as text book living. The real world is full of idiots. You need more than a theoretical education to handle this. Try not going to school for a change…assimilate from your natural surroundings… go by your gutt instinct … or do whatever you feel it is in you to do. You’d Survive anyways! Why torture your self when survival is all what people today are doing. Living has lost its meaning somewhere between being born and finally resting your body!

Wake me up when September ends...

2008-09-26T15:35:00.002+05:30

Come September and I’m beginning to feel like ROYALTY :D. Everywhere I go (read Bombay, Pune and Bangalore) Its been a roller coaster ride…. And in a fun way!
Right from Shanky’s awesome birthday to the death ride to the Blore airport. Its been totally fun! Oh just incase ppl don’t know it’s the BEST month of the year ALWAYS ;) :P. So it started with a pleasure trip to Bangy a.k.a. Bangawhore! Where I witnessed primitive ass flogging of Shanks ( cool friend from Geometric … something I thank GSSL for) by atleast close to 20 of his classmates. Then I reach back to pune to find wat turned out to be the most awesome of bday surprises till date!
So here I am back in pune September 3rd 2008…. Its 1 pm and I enter my flat with both my roomies chillin and waiting for me to padharo!!! Then I finally lay my ass down on my bed to find this HUGE bday gift wrapped in greeeeeennn shiny paper topped off with pink (really pink) twisted ribbons!
Instructions read : Open Slowly… I oblige by doing so to find well the first of my 16 gifts :D. Considering that in this fast paced life to receive even a greeting is a big deal as everyone has their own shit to deal with and for my roomies to have taken the pains to do this was a big deal!! Trust me I was ecstatic when I started unwrapping the first layer to find that not only was in it the gift but each layer had a small note giving me the reason behind the gift selected.
Every day I woke up eager to unwrap the next layer and all starry eyed once I received the small note with it… I received things I remember I had mentioned months ago and the way they were wrapped was exactly as I wished I’d have gotten them. To add to this already amazing start one fine morning I was handed a letter neatly put in a beautiful envelope. I wondered whats this??? A Bill???? Na kidding hehehehhehe
It was the first of my long chain of letters all the way till a day after d-day.
Totally overwhelmed by the fact that my roomies went thru all this to get most of my friends to write me something is beyond words. I cant imagine the aggravation and questions faced by them… Now I know a few of the questions and well I think it was real big of them to quietly take it all.
So the first letter then the second then the third and so on… With each letter was a surge of emotions and my eyes welled up every time I finished reading one. The Funnest part of all this was the fact that none of them were signed by the author so I had to guess each time I read it after which I could only unwrap my next layer. Some letters were real funny and some struck a chord in my heart. But all of them hold their own place for me. At times it was real real hard to guess as I used to wonder, even if it was a particular friend, how on earth did my roomies contact them??? And when I’d get a “Yes , It is so and so” I’d go like “WTF, how on earth” and they’d go “sab baad main batayenge ki tere liye kya kya papad bele hain”
I was flabbergasted with the enormous efforts and the lovely responses by each and every friend of mine… new and old! They even got my office gang to write me a really cute totally confusing poem for me and place it on my table. WOW!!! Now that’s something I said to myself….i can barely get them to agree for lunch and they got them to write!!! My office gang have been such sweethearts and for what they barely know me like a few months.
Next were letters from gssl guys Shree and Tush…. Total Friggin Jaan’s of mine!!! They have been the sweetest ppl I’ve come across and have seen me through a lot professionally and personally  I just can’t imagine wat my time at geometric would have been without them.
Then I have Gautam… he’s the funnest coolest and most HARAMI senior of mine and his words of wisdom got me thru college and well now my quarter life…hehehhehehhe
Not anywhere behind are the sweetest couple I’ve met till date ;) Rajeev and Sameena (Sam a.k.a Khan Sama). They have been there for me I know since what seems like eternity and even though Rajeev calls me chunnu or munnu (I forget) and hates the fact that I verbally take his case almost every time I meet him for marrying a bloody Pakistani (Sam’s not by the way), its amazing to see them both support each other and love each other in such a cool way :D. Their letters though I admit were in the true sense SHORT AND SWEET!
Next my ex – Roomie Vinzzz…. Well we’ve been there done that and now even though milezzz away sent me sunshine and smiles thru the lovely poem she wrote!! Chandigarh main lagta hai bahut bahut maal hai ;)
Coming to Goti! Bosss Rulaoge kya!!! His letter did just that! I dint know he would ever say all that but I’m real glad he did!
Jeet far far from dilli sent me his wishes in full speed :D and as usual made me SMILE!
Then comes Shanksss well reminding me of the good times we’ve had and promising times ahead he never fails to get me in total HHKP mood (Hus Hus Ke Pagal)
One of the best advice I’ve got in a while and from a real new friend of mine who by writing all that showed he gave a rat’s ass (though he’ll deny) was Amit! Dude I know u care :P
I never knew I’d inspire someone to write and that too in stipulated time with articulate words and rhythmic tone. For knowing him for wat a few months and few meetings it was quite something to have received such a beautifully put birthday wish that felt too good to be true! Thanks Dee ;)
Then I have my naughtier half write me loads of stuff in her own style with max masala and totall faltugiri that had so much of underlyin feelings that I still can’t imagine ke kammeeeeennnzzzz ne itna kuch likha mere liye….. Probably more than her Fuckin CA exam papers!!! To kaminnnzzzz Ansh – Karamjali – Anjali! The Jaans U are!!!
Then I have my oldest and strongest pillar Hitesh write me something that I never thought would happen!! Handwritten!!! Hell Yeah…the bastards not written a word since BA and now finally he writes. Dipped with cynicism he still cant help but tell me he CARES and I love that!!! Hehehhehe dude amazing stuff that was!
Last but definitely not the least was Richa’s lovely poem that graced the handcrafted pages of Chimanlal in a totally awesome envelope (im crazy about stationery bare with me) written with wat I believe a Cross pen ;). Not that all this wasn’t flattery enough I had everythin I wanted right there sent for me from her in wish format and speed delivered by the GODS ;)

Even as this was done I had loads of phone calls … Amazing bouquets with exotic flowers and even loads of chocolate cake, strawberry pie and trifle pudding (yes diet ki toh max bajj hi gayi thi … but amazingly I dint gain wait) I ate and made merry all week almost got my ass kicked at work with some stuff piling on… went gallivanting and then eventually completed stuff. Weekend came and I was in Blore on the Friday itself on office work. Finished up at office and hit a nice disc with friends and continued the party next morning blowing smoke away again at mocha’s. I'm thinking of investing in them soon enough as I’ve made it my second home .First being office ;). Reached Bombay – Sapno ki nagri and voila had a sexy piece of jewelery waiting on my dressing table with a note “happy birthday – hope this is the best so far - Aki” and well who’s denyin that it wasn’t . The merriment continued and I had a blast with my folks and chilled at home with a couple of drinks and lotsa a sexy homemade food – chicken (my bro’s style) and well there was other stuff :D

So there we go its barely been a week now and I’m still all wondering “What Hit Me?”
“Am I really really dreaming or did all this just happen to me”.
At this point all I could think of was the song “King of Wishful Thinking” (OST Pretty Woman) and I still cant stop Smiling . I feel like a QUEEN and whose to blame me for all u know YOU PUT ME UP THERE!!!

Thanks a Ton again to EVERY SINGLE DUDE and DUDETTE!!!!

Moments ...

2008-09-25T12:26:00.002+05:30

I know I’m expressive
And the look was all u needed
I shouldn’t be writing this
But this time my heart has pleaded
I love u way too much now to stop
I have to say it else I’ll drop
Today the rhyme is not even there
I think the minds got no time to spare
All I want to say is flowing out
I feel like I need to burst out and Shout!!!
And say Oh Babe Ur the best!!!
U put even my restless mind to rest!
I can’t begin to imagine now a day without you
I know u think of the same thing too
Time will pass and spaces shall fill
You and I, together will be still
If not by distance but in time we reside
No one can take from us these moments kept aside!!!

[This piece has been long due as I hadn't found the appropriate words ...i still think i could do better but well here it is... dyin to go out to her..... RICHA]

Photographic memory!

2008-09-05T15:57:00.001+05:30

I can see every line change on your face still
Every bent brow move with new thrills

Eyes that express more than thousand words
A gaze that cuts through silence with swords.

Eye lashes curled to cover the sneakish peak,
Lips pursed as though your about to speak.

You blow a thick smoke way above ground
And then be smug and look for smiles all around.

A hoarse voice to bowl everyone over
A wit that makes a drunken b’com sober!

Memory has captured what a lens would not
And still u say a PHOTO I have not????

Home is where the heart is…

2008-08-06T15:14:00.001+05:30

I’ve been moving a lot in the past few months as u might’ve guessed from all the posts recently and the soul searchin for all those who live with me. After all that I’ve finally taken a decision to live where I really really want to and not where it’s most practical to be. I’ve always known to be a person that’s practical and reasonable but I know for a fact its very rarely wat I truly want or fancy. This time I’m following my heart to a dear place where there’s a smile on everyone’s face and this warmth I long for that just glows and brightens up this power cut prone city 
Yes! U guessed right I’m moving back to my old place in Aundh. For all those who don’t know I live in Pune or rather reside (currently) here and for the past few months (namely 2) have been residing in Kalyani Nagar, a stone’s throw away from my workplace, which apparently was considered as a major boon to be cutting down on all the “traffuck” (sorry I’m takin this on udhar) jams and shit ass roads and cribs of autowalas and ofcourse sky rocketed tarrifs to get there. I somehow like the ride to work from aundh …its lovely and in the rains it feels great. I love the rains even though they’ve screwed my new pair of shoes real bad… but its me and my music all the way home to my smiley lovey dovey roomies Richu and Anshhh (karamjali) hahahhahahah. Btw miss Vinzzz a lot too :D.
I found out that I don’t fancy change so much… I can live in a particular way for years with frequent trips to various places(I love to travel) but in the end I need to come home or a place like that ;). Everyone’s (including me) always convincing you that change is good… ya my arse it is… it’s good if ur happy… it’s good if ur satisfied… its good if u have someone to share it with… otherwise it’s a fuckin pain in the arse I tell ya.
It’s everytime something changes u need to start from scratch and it would be a lil nice if u had ppl around u who u were comfortable with to share ur discoveries and failures. I love makin friends but cant stand the fact that I need to every now and then adjust personal space for the fact that ppl around me keep either getting transferred , shift jobs or bloody hell get married. Change is fine if its with nature, politics and sensex u know!!
For me I like things the way I like it and who doesn’t. Everywhere I go I try making something of this vagabondish life I have to make it seem more livable and lovable ;).
So it all comes down to finding and maintaining a certain SPACE for oneself.
As long as I get that I don’t really care if it’s a place in PALI hills (Mumbai) or Pimpri/Chinchwad (pune). So on this note I will stop wasting precious work hours on bloggin silently while my build is failing on the unix machine…chalo tata..till I post another one.

Want!

2008-07-18T14:58:00.001+05:30

I dont wanna sleep
It doesnt help me anymore
I feel this eternal want for somethin more.

I dont wanna sleep
I’m sure u know why
I love watchin u from where I lie.

I dont wanna sleep
Dont ask me once again
My morning doesn't ever begin before ten.

I dont wanna sleep
It’s not meant for me
If I close my eyes I won’t have u to see

I dont wanna sleep
I’ve said all there is
I'll watch u now in your peaceful bliss.

(Yesterday afternoon while I was chillin at my desk and feeling terribly sleepy a colleague of mine Nibsss gave me an assignment! It's submission time I guess :D)

Change...

2008-07-16T15:29:00.000+05:30

Well so here I am again thinking of moving from where I am and reassessing the whole god damn thing over and over again. Pros and cons and the whole thing you know. But in the end all this time invested in coming to a decision would be based on a particular momentary development or change and on none of these speculations, but, I atleast have something to tell myself as too why my erratic behavior has a prior calculated motive or risk. Total Faltu Bakwaas in short! I always do what I am driven to do at heightened moments. I don’t regret my decisions coz they’re mine and not really forced upon but yeah sometimes driven by forces other than self generated.

So coming back to something that you would understand rather than just me rambling away to glory. Hehehehhehe. Yeah so I’ve shifted residence recently from one end of Pune to another and realized that though its been quite a while that I’ve wanted to live there I really don’t fancy the place that much… infact not at all really these days…. It has nothing to do with roomies or the place as such coz that’s fantastic and I really don’t give either of them to grow on me so I’d like them :D… its just that I have so much I’ve left behind that I really never wanted to… not for atleast a few more months I believe.
Sometimes I feel I’d rather have other ppl move to their new places and then u know me search for something new too…but here it wasn’t that way…I left a perfectly set life of mine to come to a place I’ve always wanted to live in but I ain’t Livin at all. Then again I think it’s an awesome change but who am I kiddin right??? Its just another whole pain in tha ass situation that I need to start everythin from scratch and am not even convinced if I want to do it!

Anyways I feel its enough of thinking and I’m just gonna make the best of it till I find the perfect reason to go HOME :D (for those who don’t know that’s Bombay) Its one place I can never get bored of… it has a perfect blend of much required pace and opportunity to make a NAUJWAN stay JAWAN hehehehhehe. Till the next move then.

Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage

2008-06-24T15:23:00.002+05:30

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities - Collage -

Burning Desire!!!!!

2008-05-26T15:30:00.001+05:30

What is it that keeps me coming back to you?
What is it that burns a fire in me so true?

My lips touch you and flames burn up,
Every breath I take my stomach churns up.

The circles around, to the skies they soar,
The air moves up keeping me gasping for more.

Long and slender my fingers feel you up,
And though you slip thru them we begin from where we left off!

I know you'd wish it wouldn’t end so soon,
Every puff that I take brings you to your doom.

I love you so much and will till the end.
Ur my only darlin Classic Milds pack of ten ;)

Strength ...

2008-03-11T11:17:00.003+05:30

Shattered pieces of glass
Broken window panes
Doors once opened are
Shut, never to be opened again

A sigh and deep breath
A hopeful morning seeks
A lonely winter night
Reminding of the silence of the creek

With closed eyes and a prayer in the heart
Each day begins unfold
Wondering what mysteries
And fortunes would come to a heart of gold.

The strong be given a curse
To bear all the burdens they can
The weak lay inside
While their life’s go by a plan.

No risks shall be taken
No battles be fought again
Till I see the treasures
Of my winnings since I was ten.

All that was won before
And over and over again
Come to add strength and character
To the woman who’d be won by the strongest man!

(Note: Its an Ode' to all the women i know and all the strength they have... A week later than women's day but i guess its better this way ;) )

The way I Are

2008-02-19T15:41:00.001+05:30

I know why I am the way I am…
Its not for u to see… its not for me to show…

It struck me today why I am really this way. There are so many things I haven’t discovered about myself that it would be totally unfair to let a total stranger be burdened with the expectations of someone who doesn’t know what she wants or is capable of attaining. They say GOD (yes! I’m not an atheist … just not ritualistic) works in mysterious ways and well everything that happens, happens for good.
Unless one knows what they can or cannot do or should or shouldn’t give up they shouldn’t jump on decisions. Every lesson one learns makes them stronger and a lil wiser in treading much more carefully and not hurting oneself and others involved in their lives at the various stages and phases they go through.
I totally believe everyone is responsible for all that they do, say or have and at any point if “shit happens” its all one’s fault or doing only. No outsider can be blamed or thrashed with the crap that you urself got into. Also it’s pretty likely that if u don’t know what u truly deserve and need then your bound to make mistakes and well humanly blame ;) someone else for it.
It’s just that I feel every once in a while a self appraisal is good and needed. You need to know what u need and what u want and whether they together make sense… it’s like the perfect blend of music an lyrics. It’s also whether u deserve what u want and whether what u want deserves you. Maybe you’d get better maybe you wont… at the end of the day it’ll be exactly what you need.
I just resigned from my current job and realized that it’s not because I hated my job or anything, its because I realized I deserved more and that THAT MORE deserved me.
Similarly a lot of people deserve more than they have and well those who don’t deserve compensate for it in other ways. What goes around comes around so I know for sure that atleast smiles, khoob saara pyar evum chumiyan are only on their way back along with the very witty sarcasm I have been throwing at people and the general taunts :) so well I’m ready! Gimme your best shot and I’ll take it all down with a pinch of salt and a huge smile on my face coz that’s one thing that’s always gonna be mine :)

Last Ride Together

2008-02-12T12:07:00.000+05:30

This is something I came across and its not like me to put up something that I haven't written..but I guess its apt for all I feel right now and I wish I'd not lose my own form of expression and have to put this up.
But anyways here goes people...enjoy!!!

Last Ride Together
by Robert Browning
(1812-1889)

I said---Then, dearest, since 'tis so,
Since now at length my fate I know,
Since nothing all my love avails,
Since all, my life seemed meant for, fails,
Since this was written and needs must be---
My whole heart rises up to bless
Your name in pride and thankfulness!
Take back the hope you gave,---I claim
---Only a memory of the same,
---And this beside, if you will not blame,
Your leave for one more last ride with me.

II.

My mistress bent that brow of hers;
Those deep dark eyes where pride demurs
When pity would be softening through,
Fixed me, a breathing-while or two,
With life or death in the balance: right!
The blood replenished me again;
My last thought was at least not vain:
I and my mistress, side by side
Shall be together, breathe and ride,
So, one day more am I deified.
Who knows but the world may end tonight?

III.

Hush! if you saw some western cloud
All billowy-bosomed, over-bowed
By many benedictions---sun's
And moon's and evening-star's at once---
And so, you, looking and loving best,
Conscious grew, your passion drew
Cloud, sunset, moonrise, star-shine too,
Down on you, near and yet more near,
Till flesh must fade for heaven was here!---
Thus leant she and lingered---joy and fear!
Thus lay she a moment on my breast.

IV.

Then we began to ride. My soul
Smoothed itself out, a long-cramped scroll
Freshening and fluttering in the wind.
Past hopes already lay behind.
What need to strive with a life awry?
Had I said that, had I done this,
So might I gain, so might I miss.
Might she have loved me? just as well
She might have hated, who can tell!
Where had I been now if the worst befell?
And here we are riding, she and I.

V.

Fail I alone, in words and deeds?
Why, all men strive and who succeeds?
We rode; it seemed my spirit flew,
Saw other regions, cities new,
As the world rushed by on either side.
I thought,---All labour, yet no less
Bear up beneath their unsuccess.
Look at the end of work, contrast
The petty done, the undone vast,
This present of theirs with the hopeful past!
I hoped she would love me; here we ride.

VI.

What hand and brain went ever paired?
What heart alike conceived and dared?
What act proved all its thought had been?
What will but felt the fleshly screen?
We ride and I see her bosom heave.
There's many a crown for who can reach,
Ten lines, a statesman's life in each!
The flag stuck on a heap of bones,
A soldier's doing! what atones?
They scratch his name on the Abbey-stones.
My riding is better, by their leave.

VII.

What does it all mean, poet? Well,
Your brains beat into rhythm, you tell
What we felt only; you expressed
You hold things beautiful the best,
And pace them in rhyme so, side by side.
'Tis something, nay 'tis much: but then,
Have you yourself what's best for men?
Are you---poor, sick, old ere your time---
Nearer one whit your own sublime
Than we who never have turned a rhyme?
Sing, riding's a joy! For me, I ride.

VIII.

And you, great sculptor---so, you gave
A score of years to Art, her slave,
And that's your Venus, whence we turn
To yonder girl that fords the burn!
You acquiesce, and shall I repine?
What, man of music, you grown grey
With notes and nothing else to say,
Is this your sole praise from a friend,
``Greatly his opera's strains intend,
``Put in music we know how fashions end!''
I gave my youth; but we ride, in fine.

IX.

Who knows what's fit for us? Had fate
Proposed bliss here should sublimate
My being---had I signed the bond---
Still one must lead some life beyond,
Have a bliss to die with, dim-descried.
This foot once planted on the goal,
This glory-garland round my soul,
Could I descry such? Try and test!
I sink back shuddering from the quest.
Earth being so good, would heaven seem best?
Now, heaven and she are beyond this ride.

X.

And yet---she has not spoke so long!
What if heaven be that, fair and strong
At life's best, with our eyes upturned
Whither life's flower is first discerned,
We, fixed so, ever should so abide?
What if we still ride on, we two
With life for ever old yet new,
Changed not in kind but in degree,
The instant made eternity,---
And heaven just prove that I and she
Ride, ride together, for ever ride?

You can leave me and go now!

2007-11-12T15:35:00.002+05:30

You can leave me and go now,
I won’t feel a thing.

You can leave me and go now,
I’ll soon find another song to sing.

You can leave me and go now,
If it doesn’t matter to you.

You can leave me and go now,
It seems you have better things to do.

You can leave me and go now,
The world won’t stop turning!

You can leave me and go now,
Answers would come to eternal questions burning.

You can leave me and go now,
Don’t turn around to see.

You can leave me and go now,
For you may not find tears in me.

You can leave me and go now,
It seems to you like a boon.

You can leave me and go now,
For true love would definitely find me soon!

Questions to the Void

2007-11-12T15:35:00.001+05:30

Why is it everytime someone gives all they can at that moment it never is enough?
When is it going to be enough?
When am I going to run out of my resources that according to everyone else seem to be in abundance?
Why is it I feel the day I run out of it someone who deserves it would come along?
Why is it that my mom hasn’t yet run out of it?
When would she run out of it?
Is it really everlasting?
Why is it that she had to wait 20 odd years for me to realize that she had it?
Is it going to take me 20+ years to find out?
Why has it been passed on?
Would I be better off without it?
Are people more valued if they don’t have it?
Is it time to give it up and trade for something else?
How many different things could I get for the price of this one?
Are you even getting what I’m saying?
Should I care if you don’t?
Do I really really want to change?
Is this really worth it?
How can anyone live without it?
Why do I feel it acts like a cushion for something that doesn’t deserve it nearly ever?
Why do people shed tears/smiles for things that don’t really deserve them?
What is deserving?
Why am I questioning the capacity of what I am?
I love myself for what I can give unconditionally for which it is so hard for others to even give with conditions bound to it!
I am my own HERO!

A Suitable Boy

2007-10-01T23:38:00.000+05:30

“I finally found someone who knocks me off my feet
I finally found someone who makes me feel complete.
It started over coffee, we started out as friends.
It’s funny how from Simple things the BEST things begin…”
– Bryan Adams and Barbara Streisand

This is exactly how I feel right now. No other words would better explain how I feel about this certain someone. The funny thing is I can be myself and everything I want to be and still feel REAL!

I am lost for words right now but seem to paint the exact picture of what I want to show you. It’s as though someone finally “Real-ised” all my secret wishes that I once hoped came true. It’s as though someone’s been picked right out of my dreams and placed in front of me and I’ve gone speechless. All I can do is stare and admire and get floored by the very presence of this person. It’s when u get that feeling of ‘ too-good-to-be-true’. Every single moment spent is whole in its own very special way. To some it may seem totally insignificant and for all u know so may he but I really don’t care. I’ve chosen to write about this cause I feel so strongly about him that it scares me to my core.

I feel like a small little girl that’s been given this “well deserved” TROPHY that is so uniquely crafted and well made that sometimes it scares her to even hold it in a way that may scratch the lovely purely polished surface it has! The shine, the exuberance on the girls face is unmatched when seen with it and everyone knows why she exhibits such character and has this beautiful gleam in her eyes as all that she can see is her TROPHY! It’s like none she’s ever won before or none that her friends have been given either. Sometimes she wonders if it’s really hers and then there are times she knows no one else could ever compete with her for the same prize that is rightfully hers! All this excitement and anxiety takes her from day to day with pride in her eyes and slight doubtlets of fear of losing it all at once!

She so hopes he’d get it now and hope he’d come and say it somehow
There’s still this something she’d never know unless HE comes and tells her so…

The Love Bug

2007-08-30T11:40:00.000+05:30

So here I’m sitting at my desk at work and thinking why I’m not really really able to concentrate on WORK that I’m being paid for and actually thinking about this person who’s not even around.
It’s quite absurd if u think of it from a third perspective as I often do. I feel I think I’m losing it!
I’m losing my sanity, my control over myself, My state of equilibrium and guess what no matter how mad I feel throughout the day IT FEELS GREAT when u get that single sms/call and even though there’s nothing much to discuss it feels sooo sooooo Amazing!
No scientific explanation yet to why it does BUT it DOES!
I’ve tried to get to describe it for so long but I cant!
And then someone says “ It’s the Love Bug my friend!”
Oh no why me? It wasn’t supposed to be like this  It was supposed to be like in the movies… boy meets girl .. they fall in love and they have a happy ending whatever that be!
BUT NOOOOOOO there is no such simple story coz I feel today’s BOY lacks the balls to “meet and tell” the girl! All he can do is hope, pray and leave it all to destiny….
Yes destiny that’s wat its coming to now! And the girl is again the typical new age career woman that wants her guy to be a MALE and start the bloody thing as she seems more protected and afraid than the boy who is in this constant state of confusion of “she loves me ,she loves me not” or “ do I love her or love her not” or “my mom shall kill us both”.
And in all this the simplicity is lost. Cant we just live for the moment and forget SOCIETY, PARENTS, PEERS and most of all FRIENDS.
This bullshit SUCKS! Gimme a guy who likes it simple! Actually quite happy with the one under the microscope right now but dont let me get bored of ur Stupid Lazy Ways!!!!! You know I’m kiddin!!! The Love bug’s Here to Stay FOREVER!!!!

AKI and I

2007-06-21T12:16:00.000+05:30

Where do I begin? It would make no sense. Would u understand what I’m trying to say???

Well these were the exact thoughts going thru my head when I sat down the other day with AKI. We started of what would have turned out to be a regular disagreement with both of us feeling that the other doesn’t give a shit but to my surprise it wasn’t what I expected it to turn out. It left me wanting more and wondering why did I hold back so long and search elsewhere for what I always had sitting right there in the hall of my small home soon turning to be just a boarding – lodging option in the city. Nothing I pen down right now would make me able to bring out the exact feeling I had then… I felt light …I felt free …. I felt Me.

This is for you.

I’ve known u since u were a foot and a half.
We’ve spent since then so many laughs.

Ran around the house and broken stuff
Got beaten up by a mom so tough.

School came and we started growing up
With studies, play and masti were our cups filled up

Still we did talk and play at home
From GI Joes to Barbie’s hair we’d comb

Then college came and we rarely spoke
We’d found some other folks

Home was our time away from friends
Hoping tomorrow we’d meet them again.

We never ever had quiet words again
I think I should have been wiser then.

Living alone with parents taught us a lot
That we were there for each other but somehow forgot.

Now I live in some god forsaken part on the globe
Hoping to see you on more than weekends I hope.

You were there then and I know ur here now.
Time seems to be just passing by somehow

The time will come when I’d be really far away.
Till then lets be the best siblings I say!

SATISFACTION or somethin like it

2007-04-19T18:13:00.000+05:30

In office at 5.25 p.m. Have no clue why I’m still here. There’s tons of work to be completed and I just can’t seem to get things in motion. I wonder why?
Is it because I just don’t feel like doing it anymore or is it because of the obvious laziness in me or is it because I have finally found that this is not making me happy and I need to move on?

I’ve seen this happen before where I have clinged on to things for so long that it became a way of life that I knew deep inside I didn’t want to lead anymore but since it was the only security I had I kept doing it till I just couldn’t anymore. I never imagined that my job would be such a thing! I always thought I’d do something I loved to earn my bread and butter. I am working these days just to survive when actually I draw quite a decent salary for someone my age. By that I don’t mean those brilliant engineers who’ve jumped jobs and excelled in everything they’ve done. I’m an average person with a used-to-be normal life that has gone topsy-turvy for the want of a financially satisfying life. What is a better living? These days so often we hear the words “I’m earning a better living”. BUT ARE U???? ITS ALL A STATE OF MIND!

The more the money … the more the stress….the more the lack of living….. I’m earning enough according to current standards but still have to struggle living with 3 other roommates in a flat devoid of comfort and life. What am I paying rent for????? I have no clue. I feel as though people have lost their minds completely playing the money game… First u earn … then buy a flat….then put it on rent while u urself pay an exorbitant amount as rent in some other area of ur choice and thus the infinitum!
If u notice most people in my field probably earn thrice the amount their parents earned when they were are age but DAMN our parents were still happier! Look at me I am 24 yrs and writing about satisfaction at work… how the fuck would I know if I dint stick around long enough to learn something worthwhile to prove by mettle outside? Its not job satisfaction really I’m talking about… its satisfying ur inner desire to be at the top or somewhere around that area and always ahead of competition….its tryin to convince everyone around u and urself that u are doing something worthwhile with ur life…its trying to find you in ur job and not finding a job in YOU!
Seriously I’m just typing away from the start not really knowing where this is really going. I’m still at work not doing work and I know I’m wrong but I just have to write all this. Why am I being forced to continue in this job and why am I being forced to leave it?
To tell u the truth my job doesn’t really suck …I swear it doesn’t. If I stick around long enough (already been 3 yrs) I know I’d be proficient and much better off than a peer whose jumped 3 jobs and has got 2 promotions after heavy negotiations and tons of money. I’m not saying people who switch jobs are stupid… its just that everyone has a different internal wiring… and some have tendencies to be short circuited much easily than the others. My belief is “old fashioned” as some call it…but I swear I’ve seen it to be more “satisfying” than the others. I totally believe that “ALL circumstances are made to make u richer and not break u down”. But that’s me! In today’s age because of the Various choices we’re offered its more difficult to make a right pick! The advice packages offered are so scary that even people u totally believe in can shake the foundations of ur beliefs. Torment u day in and day out into making biased choices.

I think the inspiration for today’s post is because of the article I read on the survey for the most satisfying jobs in the states. I don’t know about the US but my mom’s a school teacher and I haven’t really ever heard her complain so much about her job than half my peers at work. My dad was a manager in a small engineering firm some years ago and gave his prime years (22 to be precise) to the betterment of that company and never had such bitter feelings towards what he did! He had an ASS for a boss but he still loved what he did! I just think that its competition and the fact that u let Your peers get to u that makes ur life so difficult… I never ever saw my parents feel bad or convinced enough to switch their jobs. Loyalty to one’s beliefs is something that runs in the blood… Similarly I really don’t find reason good enough to leave my job though ‘according to everyone around’ I would be much more satisfied with a higher paying job… That sound is great right? but money is seriously something that can be earned anytime. I am talented and gifted but I need practice long enough to be able to really ask what I’m worth of! I need to be convinced that my current job cant give me any more and I need to move on.
Am I worth all I get currently? I am worth much more but in due time…. In due time!

Motivation

2007-04-13T15:25:00.000+05:30

I’m gonna do it this time
I know I can.
I’m gonna do it this time
And for no man!

I can control this
It’s an easy task
It’s amazing how I’ve waited
For someone to ask.

Dedication, determination and hard work
It’s all that’s needed.
To get to where I want
From GOD I’ve pleaded.

I know they say
He helps those who help themselves
It’s like in a fairy tale
But you are your own elves!

I feel sometimes
It’s gonna take a lot
Sometimes may require
Drugs of some sort

They say Rome wasn’t
Built in a day!
It needs sense of direction and motivation
More over than prayer!!

Lot does change with
A pinch of WILL POWER
Changing your weakness
To a strengthened tower.

I’ve decided! I know it’s me
Who can do this
After all it’s only I who
Deserves this feeling of BLISS!!!

An intersting ride to work

2007-03-29T12:09:00.000+05:30

AAJ bus driver being himself (read as aspiring F1 driver) decides to give SANTROWALE side swipes....
successfully does so and then scoots at lightening speed from the scene
Santrowale as pissed as he gets follows F1 bus driver a.k.a. G10(geometric bus 10) bus driver, with bad attitude problem to finally catch up at sadanand baner to have a showdown with the most atrocious vocabulary consisting only profanity!!!!
then a good samaritan bus user decides to go and solve the issue who gets paid with some pathetic words like mc bc Tu bas main wapas baith ..from our driver itself .... then finally the driver realises that he cant listen to the SANTROWALE anymore and pushes him asides and again gets into his ferrari (our khatara bus) and cruises on the highway at an unimaginable speed ignoring smaller cars and almost giving everyone a coronary.
Our SANTROWALE not satisfied with all the profanity decides to follow us to work and on reaching office tries to win the battle...
at this time i decided to come to my desk and start working (mailing ofcourse).
So leaving u all at this note we would not know what happened to the SANTROWALE but .. our F1 driver considering the fat he can handle this is definitely doin good i imagine....

M ‘n’ M (Music and Me)

2007-03-25T22:59:00.001+05:30

Music is the cure to everything … from a late start to a totally screwed up day.

I really don’t care, never have, about what people thought abt my choice in music…. I’ve been called “angrez ki aulad” for the fact that I love western music more than indian… I don’t give a DAMN! I hear music that I can listen to even when it isn’t playin anymore. I can’t help its western or ravindra sangeet or KK or few indian artists.
I get a certain high listenin to music…. And for those who know me they might not be knowing this … That’s the time my mouth is generally shut ;).

The music playin mostly reflects the state of my mind at that time. I am totally moody and for all u know it can change instantly with a song… from mushy songs to rock to metal to u name it ….depending on my mood I can groove to anythin…. I get high on songs!!! It takes me to a different place where I am myself… where I see me the way I want to… there are so few people who really understand this part of me… and to tell u its not my family…then again don’t expect them too.

A prelude … the verse…the bridge all just brought together in perfect melody can be the best thing that ever happened to life on earth. Imagine if there was no music…hell no! I’d rather not imagine! It’s the key to my creativity (or whatever u’d call it), a deep meaning in my life. Express urself in a song is probably the way it was suppose to be. I aint old fashioned (atleast I’d like to believe that) but a song is the key to a musical heart like mine. I can find a song to fit almost any part or episode in my life…. And if I don’t know a song I’d make one up!

Well I’ve seemed to have graduated to have a better taste n music…
School saw a very romantic … boy band crazy me … with little regards for lyrics.
Then came college where I started appreciating lyrics and music and then finally went on to music that defines me today. Drums and a good voice to actually bring the words to life with an amazing guitar piece and all the other good stuff… from Creed, Led Zep, bit of Floyd to solos from various artists and even RnB and cool hip hop…Pop and heart pumping feet tapping disc music. I Love it all! Music’s in me and hopefully someday I’d be in Music too!!

Random Thoughts

2007-03-25T22:55:00.000+05:30

Listenin to a melody I actually began to wonder about myself… have I done all that I wished to do… what more could I have done…how different would it be if I’d do things the way I’d like to then… a plethora of opportunities lost… a bouquet of choicest memories now… what would I want to trade or not to for that matter of fact. I don’t seem to have any answers and sometimes I feel I have all… right now none are true!

Some people like to call this a quarter life crisis…well it’s not a crisis for heaven sake. This is just another way for people to try and categorise or compartmentalise their lives…. Its all just one big long episode/movie/act to me….as you like it.

It’s a universal truth that as soon as an area of your life’s goin well all elsewhere is completely blown to bits and crumbling all over but the converse is not true. Ironic?
It’s at times like these everyone gets judgemental and tries to find answers and link it to past failures and silly choices made … can’t blame anyone I guess I sat down tryin to do the same thing… I realised its got nothin to do with what I had, did or lost a chance to do… Now is the time it’s gonna change!! Why not I am capable… I can move mountains … I can rule my life … I am accountable for all I do…. I’m me and that’s all that counts right now.

Smile!

2007-03-23T11:34:00.000+05:30

Smile! Coz u bring a smile to my face.
Smile! Coz there are so many goin gaga for ur just one gaze.

Smile! U need that exercise
Smile! All ur problems will downsize.

Smile! There’s a world waiting for u.
Smile! Coz u know u’ll get thru.

Smile! There’s much more u deserve.
Smile! This is just first serve.

Smile! U know ur doing it right now.
Smile! Don’t think When? What? How?

Smile! Someone maybe watchin u.
Smile! I know u want to.

Smile! There’s no place for a frown.
Smile! And u know u’ll paint the town.

Smile! U see I’m smiling too.
Smile! And read this when ur blue…. Knowing someone somewhere is thinking of u!!!!

In Retrospect

2007-03-22T12:05:00.000+05:30

In retrospect all that’s happened is for good.
I am saying this as I knock on wood!

In retrospect I could’ve dug more under my hood.
It doesn’t feel as though I did all I could.

In retrospect life seems like its cruising by
Well all is just too many blinks of an eye.

In retrospect I could’ve said something better then
Now all I have is the thoughts down in pen

In retrospect I loved then lived
To give all to the one in whom I believed.

In retrospect all was said and done
Tomorrow would definitely see a bright new sun.

In retrospect it’s all over now.
And just see me as I still blossom and grow

My Roomies

2007-03-18T21:58:00.000+05:30

Every guy wants to know what a girl does with her room –mates or other girl friends. They just can’t get over the fact that girls CAN have a GREAT TIME together other than when their gossiping! Anyways today I’m gonna burst every guy’s bubble.

I have been living away from home for just a few years now, ever since I’ve joined GSSL (Geomteric Software Solutions Ltd, my Workplace). The first stint away from home (Mumbai) was in august 2004, where my first Roomie was Krithika Prabhu (KP or KAYPDI for those who know:) ). She and I would have the wildest nights together (c’mon don’t think dirty guys) listening to music or just chattin away into the night. Weekends were spent just chillin or goin from place to place in pune (and believe me there are just a few) on her chotu bikey called Spirit or at times just cleaning up at home mostly rearrangin her cupboard (which was quite a task ). We were so used to each other that even on weekends when we came home we’d meet up for a play or general shopping…. But my favorite was those awesome haircuts at freeda’s…. damn I miss that!!! Then after that I was back in mumbai for a year where KP and I would now almost skip work in the afternoon and go out and chill at freeda’s or some place at HN (hirannadani, a place close to work in Vikhroli).Those were the days man…work and pleasure both and guess what no guy involved what so ever. Pure Enthu and excitement to just chill and spend time with each other especially walks at Godrej colony…. Just awesome time together. KP is currently studyin at Gainsville,Florida in FEA (MS in Mech Engg).

Anyways later in may 2006 I came back to Pune (it justs keeps callin em back hehehehe). Things were tight this time around as most of my friends from pune had shifted jobs or careers and were not around so house hunting was once again a tough task at hand. To my luck within a month of moving to pune I found a nice real cozy place already occupied by 2 chicks (chicks : word most often used by me to describe a girl…. Please note no male rankin system used to make any such reference :) ). Sapna and Sheili…. Both Mumbai-ites….. Oh the joy !!!! Astonished as I was to find two distinctevely different characters living in the same house…and peacefully….and the fact that they were girls was just ..well SHOCKING!!! I moved in because there was this instant bond I had created with the both of them when I came to see the place that I had forgotten alltogether that I had kept an auto waiting….well he left obviously. So within a week I moved into a one bhk as the third occupant. Privacy somehow wasn’t a big issue ever but sometimes I did feel like I’d like to have a room to myself…. Well reasons are a bit too candid to be disclosed in public so lets just say we tht we needed another room atleast…. Hehehehe. Anyways most weekends were spent in mumbai and the one’s that we were there we did go out a bit but mostly sat around and slept all day :) which at that time seemed to be the best thing to do.. I did practice a lot of cooking as we all liked eating at home and that was our major bonding time.. Sapna was dormant one most of the times and Sheili was the kick ass sorts …believe me she could “FUCK” anyone’s happiness and still can though she’s in b’lore with her husband DG :).. Sheili was the Hitler in the house and crazy about cleanliness that at times it reaaaalllllyyyyy got on my nerves…. And SAP’s was the motherly sorts… who’d serve u food till u’d blast outta ur pants… No meant yes and I’m full meant “u can give me a little more so there’d me no way for me to move outta here” … kidding babes! But I loved the fact that they behaved like exactly who they were and no girlie NAKHRAS at all! Then Sheili moved to B’lore and Sapna is currently in the states doin the same gadha majduri she did here for INFOSYS… only a dollar pay :)
There I was again searchin for a place again and this time I just dint feel like doin any sorta hard work. The whole sifting through the number of girls to get the NON- PAINFUL roomies is quite a task… more than the place it’s the roomie that creates the problem mostly so she needed to be cool or herself atleast and for god sake no nakhras…. With my previous roomies Mumbai was the bonding factor which later turned out to be just more than just friendship with all of them… I know I cared for them as sisters that I never had.. a love that cannot be really described in words…. Its like when Michael Jackson says “ Just call my name…. And I’ll be there”.
This time I dint meet any of the roomies and the one I had spoken to was just for about 5 mins…. I needed a place and I liked the fact that this one was a 2 bhk with a decent rent and I thought I’d have some alone time so I really didn’t bother about bonding blah blah etc etc…. but guess what…. It has turned out just like everytime…. Hehehhehe. Is it just me ….well I’d like to believe that!!!!

Well we’re currently the 4 of us; Ekta, Divya, Vineeta and I. Now for proper introductions
Ekta also known as PHATOM or Santa Claus as she changes roles all so frequently but major is on the Save Our Souls mission :)
Divya the self proclaimed HEERA and the current motherly figure in the house who can fire the maid oh so very well that even we’re scared from time to time ….kidding actually ahe would generally come across as the most sweetest girl with her generous offereings of Chai which mostly are so that she’d get just another cup to drink using us as her BAHANA ;)
Vineeta hahahhaha gag bag with next to amazing face muscles that enable her to make the funniest of faces … OMG u should definitely come over once to see this spectacle :D… well I almost PHORGOT she’s VB as I somehow couldn’t yet comeup with anythin better… not good on my part…am I rusting at this skill I have????

Anyways spending time together we’ve almost blown off every other person we know (except for their bf’s and for me GOt’s and Jeete) because we just have a better time together at home than getting out in the blistering heat and just watchin a shady movie with friends (who are great ofcourse, no offense!). We grown so close even though its just been what … 2 months I guess! I’ve come to this conclusion that god does realise I deserve good roomies if not anything else as I’ve been blessed with real coooooolllllll ones :).

Since these are the newest roomies I have they deserve a little more blogspace so here goes :

VB : Well she’s the funniest after ur’s truly ofcourse (she may debate over this when she reads this but hahahaha I know I’ll win ;) )
Slender be her middle name ofcourse other than RAU*** (this I can’t disclose…security purpose) Apart from her funny faces that keeps the blood circulation (as food definitely doesn’t go in as she’s perpetually on the phone) her humour is top notch and ofocurse the ever so infectious Language at home that has got the other two speakin it too as our “kiya karamat”… Reliance world in pune runs because of her …atleast I feel so…. But when she’s not on the phone we do spend a lot more than just a few hours as we sleep together in same room (no pun intended) and mostly land up chattin away to sleep or while she's "body cocooooning" herself till one just actually konks off… ususally that’s her. In all we both have a lotta things in common apart from curtain selection :)

Divya: Oh I almost forgot we also call her FIONYA …. Ah it’s a long story but to cut it short lets say she’s found her prince charming (Mr. R** Man******…no kiddin that’s his name … Prince charming if u translate)(also Fiona …Shrek’s Chick if u remember ). She’s one babe who has it all figured out! Soon to be a Mrs.this girl is soooo paranoid about CELLULITE man even though her beau is not! She’s a fine specimen of a to-be-good-mother. Well she does justice to the name HEERA :) and is my inspiration and food guide to get rid of the million tonnes of cellulite I have :). Anyone who’s met her would agree that she has the most welcoming smile and therefore is the doorkeeper of the house hehehhehe. Ok enough as I know I’m gonna get me ass kicked for this. In all a true Gem…. Muaaah babes!!!!

Oh last but defintely not the least Our Phantom …. Ekta. Well she’s been in this house forever(atleast longer than the rest of us). Before us her life revolved round Symantec, Rahul (or as I call him SACHIN…coz he gives a very SACHIN feel hehehehe) and her priceless bhaiyya – bhabhi boz of whom we rarely got to see her…. Hence PHANTOM the name ;).
She lived in my room for a while after which she shifted to be D’s roomie and now regrets the fact (I like to believe that). While she was my roomie I’d seen her abt 3 times in the month I shifted in. She was basically this good soul who paid the rent to a house she dint occupy then and kept buying stuff for the rest of our convenience (water ,fridge …fixed it too ). She was there to serve and protect…ur getting the picture I hope !!!
Anyways a real simple hard working girl….homely ,cute and who has been hangin out with us ever since B-B (bhaiyya –bhabhi) moved to sapno ki nagri bambaiiii!!!

Though I’ve screwed up the intro’s “I the loves them none the lesses”Hopefully we’ll live together longer than I expect!!!
So Far we’ve been spending quality time together but I guess as the sayin goes
This too shall PASS!!!
But the memories will stay forever….and I mean not only in print :)

Love ya’ll babes ….all of u!!

A Good Time

2007-03-15T13:49:00.000+05:30

Was thinking about events that occurred all through my life and realized that it doesn’t take a lot to have a good time. Everyone would agree that the penniless days at the college hangout and the chipping in for a shady meal contributed to the most memorable days.
Being a person that would narrate a normal day as one of utmost importance makes me think of all those then worthless hours I’ve spent in the K.C. College canteen with a few of my seniors who then had no direction in Life. For those who don’t know K.C. stands for Kishinchand Chellaram College or as we called it KISSING-chand Chellaram college.
An ordinary day would consist of a chem.lecture by Prof Meera Parwani (who for the guys reading was quite hot and also had an awesome command over the subject), whose lecture I never missed…then a huge totally wasted canteen session that would generally end up in completion of lyrics of songs by some boy band or rockers that I started compiling in really boring lectures that were attended to just complete my attendance. This book was my only treasured possession then. Btw I still have it!!!
Then after all this we’d suddenly decide and go to watch the latest release and since seniors were around they’d generally be paid for …hehehehhe. After that started the only exercise of the day…the long amazing walk home….. MARINE DRIVE….. it was much clean and beautiful then but lately has lost all its charm due to the sad cops and “bagha” public that come and ruin its surroundings by littering. “Bagha” is the word used to describe ppl who are basically tourists and venture out on the weekend to litter places.

Nothing seemed to change after joining Engineering. We still hung around the shadiest areas to find ourselves penniless again. Cracked similar jokes with interests shifting from music and fine arts to sports and new technologies.Growth was evident but not the one we actually gave tution fees for ;). But the bottom line still remained TIMEPASS. It was a lotta nothing to get through all the something someone tried to teach us then. All we wished that lectures would be held in the gym whilst we played TT or carom heheehhe. Atleast all our “TIME” could be utilized well thenJ. All this would not make much sense to most of you but then all we needed to have a good time was someone we could relate to and those who thought on the same level. No Tolerance of bullshit and a kick-ass therapy to cure any sad or majorly fucked up attitude! Getting High on life was easy. General Cribs about college actually weren’t cribs at all just are way to say that we care.
Everyone loved this “SHITHOLE” named VJTI. Anytime spent together turned out to be a GREAT Time.

All this has somehow changed. Money and the want for more has brought about this radical unwanted way of life. Now we go and enjoy a drink or two with someone who doesn’t even have the slightest clue of who you are! At times at team dinners when ur laughing at a not even remotely funny joke (normally narrated by the boss paying the bill) ur always hoping that u’d rather get outta this and spend it with people u actually did care about. All the while thinking you have no life and rightly coz your company has substituted that with work, money and these long lists of facilities no one has the time to use except when on bench. Loyalty is an issue as one’s always actuaaly searchin for a place they can call home…A hoem away from home… Happiness is all that matters and now since they don’t make it the way they used we gotta buy ourselves a bit of it each day.

All I think about our my friends and the years we’ve spent “foolin around” having a great time.

Good times now seem to be a thing of the past…

History unfortunately has somehow has forgotten to repeat itself….

Memories linger as time flies by …knowing one day it’ll be our time to die!!!!!

From The Heart

2007-03-14T14:00:00.001+05:30

To you I dedicate this MA
I know you’ve waited too long too far.
You think I don’t care, sometimes its true,
For you are the captain and we’re the crew!

The man of the house its daddy for sure
But u were the one by my side when I was sore.
He gave us the meds you were the cure,
You gave us the ear, he gave us the dough!

You always thought I was daddy’s girl,
You made me woman from that girl.
With a pat on the back and a smile on your face,
All my worries flew away with one gentle caress!

I wish I could keep you till the end
Though you know that may never happen.
You’ve loved me all the years of my life
You know I’d love you though I’d be somebody’s wife!

I don’t say the words. You know I’m proud
To say I LOVE YOU out aloud.
Now I pen these words down before I forget
So you know how much I do respect.

You are the smart one, you’ve always been
I was dumb enough to have never seen.
As I write these words I wonder why
All these years I’ve made you cry.

I’M YOUR GIRL

2007-03-14T13:58:00.000+05:30

You came into my life when I was low
At that time my life was so Sore.

Within days you turned it around
Within hours I could hear a friendly sound

How you did it I don’t know.
You brought into my life a new glow.

Why did u come to my rescue.
Was it fake or was it true.

They say ppl come into ur life for a reason.
I hope this reason lasts more than a season.

U say u care I wanna believe you.
But nothing u do could hence prove.

If u care then u need to show.
Coz that’ll make the both of us grow.

This will take us to a higher ground,
Where words or actions would hold no bound.

U think I’m askin the WORLD.
But u don’t know boy I’m Ur Girl!!!!